"Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom" is indeed, almost certainly a film.
It's a series of scenes, with people saying lines. There are occasional glimpses of thought and ideas on screen (a brief discussion as to the ethics of saving a genetically created species, and when the villain talks about how since this technology has been created, there is actually no putting that magic back IN the bottle and the future is already on its way, like it or not) with some pretty pieces of cinematography.
But on the whole it's simply meh.
Cutely characterised dinosaurs (Headbutt Simpleton Dinosaur being my favourite) and one or two slightly more colourful cutouts (the Dino-Vet and Ted Levine were particular highlights, because when was the last time you saw Ted Levine in a movie?) amongst the cast cannot really save this movie from mediocrity.
The one truly emotional, human part of all of this actually comes from Ted Levine (a cross between "The Lost World's" Peter Postelthwaite and Peter Stormare, doing an excellent Ted Levine impression) as what would be a one-dimensional throwaway villain, instead adding little tricks and ticks to the character such as collecting dinosaur teeth, pushing Chris Pratt over playfully when tranquilizing him, and actually bringing emotion to proceedings in an all too real, human, and surprisingly tragic death scene.
And he's a henchman and throwaway villain.
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