As my fiancee is on video call, I am pleased to report that the Joss Whedon script for "Wonder Woman" is worse than I even imagined. Ignoring the typical writing style of his wherein every character talks like a valley girl who just saw somebody wearing off-season colours (only, you know, not witty like "Clueless") and had the personalities of damp dish rags, I'd like to give you the highlights:
1. Steve Trevor is a prick.
2. The constant foot shots
3. Wonder Woman introduced barefoot, from the foot up
4. Steve Trevor is a prick
5. How overtly sexualised Wonder Woman is. I am very clearly not a woman, and EVEN I felt patronised by this script. We had our flatmate with us, who has never seen a Joss Whedon production nor seen or heard of Wonder Woman, and SHE found it annoying and creepy.
6. Steve Trevor is a prick.
7. The constant demeaning of Wonder Woman.
8. Wonder Woman loses her powers by willingly going into bondage for the villain in order to save the life of Steve Trevor, being teleported to South America where the only reason she is not raped by drug cartels is because they think she has the fever.
9. WONDER WOMAN ALMOST GETTING RAPED BY DRUG CARTELS
10. Our titular character only getting her powers back by calling for her mum.
11. The scene in a nightclub where Wonder Woman goes to dance. It should be played for comedy, but is instead played as OVERTLY SEXUAL AS POSSIBLE.
12. She meets Bacchus in a nightclub. Fine, it's a fun little moment in theory. Then he talks like a 2000s industry executive translating his grandkids via "Life is Strange". Oh wait, that's just Whedon.
13. Surfer Dude Friend.
14. Steve Trevor is a prick.
15. Wonder Woman falls for Steve Trevor.
16. Wonder Woman falls for Steve Trevor IMMEDIATELY.
17. The creepy fetishised lesbianism on the island.
18. The drug dealer character is either the ONLY black character, or a white character talking like a black one, and I'm not sure which is worse.
19. The specifically Asian sex slaves freed by Wonder Woman. They are specified as Asian, I cannot state this enough.
20. Feet.
21. Steve Trevor is a prick.
Remember how in the Patty Jenkins one, we had a genuinely likeable Steve Trevor in the form of the underrated as fuck Chris Pine, and the titular character was not fetishised or overly sexualised in any way, and it was a character piece about the horrors of war and the humour was both witty and human?
I am WAY more forgiving of the last act as a result of reading Whedon's script.
Side note: STRIFE is the best part, by, like a country fucking mile. And he's not meant to be funny.
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