"Southland Tales" Review - From the Vaults

 I finally watched "Southland Tales", Richard Kelly's follow up to Donnie Darko.

It stars Dwayne Johnson, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean William Scott, Sean William Scott, Justin Timberlake and Wallace Shawn, and has earned something of a reputation as a terrible, obtuse movie which proved that Kelly was a one trick pony who extended his reach.

I can confirm that, with zeppelins, Dwayne Johnson having amnesia, Wallace Shawn in a science zeppelin, poet-terrorists, Miranda Richardson heading the NSA whilst dressed as Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games, a sequence where Justin Timberlake dances to the entirety of "All These Things I have Done" by the Killers accompanied by 50's chorus girls and tripping more than Hunter S Thompson and Dr Gonzo at a birthday party, and Christopher Lambert driving an ice cream murder van, it is not a comedy.

It's a pretentious, visually interesting, piece of shit which tries to be "deep" and "poetic" but feels like an arts student incorporating his political thesis into "Brazil", and screaming "fight the power" every five minutes, in between beat poetry and sips of Starbucks.

I also recommend that everybody watch it.

We should make "No Context Southland Tales" a thing

Not for any "message" or perceived "depth" from Kelly, but because of a line.

A single line, in this two and a half hour movie makes the whole experience worth it, by transcending its own awfulness and lack of irony, into something beautiful.

I am not saying what the line is, because even the fact that I am saying that there is a single good line (outside of Sean William Scott's dead serious delivery of "We take the ATM with us to Mexico") lessens its bizarre impact. Needless to say, it immediately changed my opinion of the film, and I now rate it 10/10.

Johnson knew what he was in, and when he saw that line, he took it and ran with it, scoring the ultimate victory over cinema.