So the first part of tonight's double bill was "Godzilla: King of the Monsters". I apologise in advance, as I write this whilst listening to my new CD.
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| No "MechaGodzilla" or Eborah. 0/10 |
Go into this as a fanboy of the original Godzilla movies and you'll be okay: Mothrafucker, Rodan (who in this version is just a dick, seriously, it's kind of amazing: he eats pilots when he's already taken out the plane, and takes out planes through dickish moves, he's a fucking Chris Jherek level dick, he's great) and KING MOTHRA-FUCKING GHIDORAH are great. There is a lot of personality put into the monsters, who each get moments to shit and have a good time; and the final act is fucking great.
But the movie as a whole is just not great.
If it had embraced the B-movie dialogue (Charles Dance as Captain JONAH says the line "God has nothing to do with this.", and Bradley Whitford is fucking great as borderline alcoholic cynic dude) which included such pre-electirc breath lines as "Awwwwwwww shit!" and Tywin Lannister (because of course he's the villain in this, Game of Hype has just ended after all) saying:
"LONG LIVE THE KING!"
Then it would have been great. As it stands, there is no real reason to care about dudes besides the actors: Ken Watanabe comes back and is awesome by virtue of being Ken Watanabe, Kyle Chandler and Millie Bobby Brown are at the usual top of their game with what they are given, a bored Vera Farmiga is still a highlight in ANY movie. If they had even gone the route of "Black Guy! Nerd Guy! Hero Guy! Ken Watanabe!" B-movie stereotype (which they come close to with Whitford) it would have been "Skull Island" levels of great.
As it stands it's a fucking GORGEOUS monster movie with AWESOME shots of our titular Titans in the skies, where you wait for the next stupid fight. Unplug your brain and you'll have a god time, but not as good a time as "Independence Day: Resurgence" or "Kong: Skull Island".
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