"Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Amongst Thieves" - Review

Bard and daring scoundrel Edgin Darvis (Chris Pine) and his best friend, the blunt and exiled barbarian Holga Kilgore (Michelle Rodriguez) recruit a crew of misfits to break into the tower of their old friend Forge Fairchild (Hugh Grant) so that they may retrieve a magic tablet to resurrect Edgin's deceased wife. Teaming up with self-conscious and nervous sorcerer Simon (Justice Smith), Tiefling nature advocate and shapeshifting Druid Doric (Sophia Lillis) and hot-sexy-Paladin who fucks, Xenk (Rege-Jean Page): they find themselves involved in planning a heist which unfolds into a plot to save the world...

Like your favourite game of "Dungeons and Dragons" come to life, when you try to tell that story to other people it can lead to an excruciating marathon of cringe. But here, the writers Jonathan Goldstein and John Francis Daley (the kid from "Waiting"? Okay...) have thread the needle wonderfully with a good hearted heist movie where the humour comes not solely from quips or 4th wall breaking snark (though they allow themselves cute moments, like "that seems arbitrary" for spells) but from solid scripting, character interaction, punchlines and pacing. The cast bounce wonderfully off of each other and the events of the movie, rattling along wonderfully not quite at a breakneck pace but a fun, endearing one. Pine is pitch perfect in the most Chris Pine performance as the most Bard, channeling his inner Rick O'Connell; and Justice Smith is endearing as the sorcerer with self-esteem issues, basically being his character from that God-awful "Jurassic World" sequel but written well. But it's Michelle Rodriguez and Rege-Jean Page who were my favourites: the former I knew would be, and the latter in his first performance I have seen. Rodriguez was always going to be great as the blunt, plain-talking Barbarian who has a wonderful joke about a deer and is not merely a foil to Pine's bard, but genuinely good and a sweetheart companion/brother in arms, and refreshingly there is no romantic subplot between the two of them, instead being more a "two bimbling bisexuals have to babysit" situation. Page absolutely steals the show as not just a pitch perfect portrayal of a Paladin, but an inspired piece of casting which has the naturaly charismatic, handsome actor playing a brilliant, dashing, handsome, super-competent warrior who is also a complete and utter dullard in social situations. He gets some excellent laughs, and manages to make a walk amusing, and it is a shame he is not in the movie longer... Lillis is somewhat underused, as the "only competent part of the plan" but works well as the only idealist and genuniely decent one in the party. I'm happy to see her getting more work. Then there's Hugh Grant. I for one welcome a return of our beloved English treasure, here hamming it up and being deliciously, delightfully devillish and relishing the material at hand. If anything, he overshadows the actual villain of the piece, and the 3rd act loses a bit of steam with him out of the way, but the brisk and breezy and delightfully creative fights manage to save it. The set pieces are lively and effervescent: from a portal-gun sequence with flipping and rotating cameras (a nice little bit of scripting to how in EVERY D and D game the players will obtain a magic item and COMPLETELY fuck the difficulty curve with a soldering iron, using creative thinking which makes you want to end them... Side note there. Apologies), a fight with a fat dragon, a colourful wizard duel, a good punchline with the Owl-Bear, and a stand-out piece of comedy in a grave yard. Everything thrown into play comes back later in what is depressingly rare scripting in today's movies (a slingshot, a love of Halflings for a sweet gag at the end of the movie, an Owl Bear, the portal stick, even Simon's useless spells and a lute), and the end result of all of this is a comedy which works both on its own merits and as a sweet little love letter of sincerity to the source material for fans. It captures the silliness, the chaos and the energy of it all perfectly without having to resort to condescension or overwritten gags or awkward riffing and sneering at stuff. It's helped by the sincerity and how clear it all is in its intentions. Settle yourselves in for a nice, lovely time, with some fantastic performances. Oh, and keep an eye out for the other gang in the cage sequence, you'll recognise them if you enjoy shit cartoons...
End credits song slaps too

"It" Review - From the Vaults

Having just gotten back from "It", I can safely say that it is excellent, not just as a horror movie, but as an adaptation of the book. It captures the themes, characters and pants-shitting terror of the only book to have ever spooked the bollocks off me. It's an absolute blast, and if you don't want spoilers, I'd stop reading here.

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Okay, if you're sure!

The time-shift to the 80s works in the film's favour, they put a lot of effort into it without ramming it down your throat, so that it doesn't just feel like a "Stranger Things" parody (despite the appearance of Finn Wolfhard, more on him in a bit) and actually gives characters room to breathe and evolve. As an added bonus, when they are adults, it means that they won't be fighting the creature with zimmer-frames, knitted jumpers and copies of Glen Miller tapes. 

They focus on the first part of the story, the kids, and adapt the tale in their own way whilst still honouring and adding touches to the source material. Case in point: the street names are exactly the same as in the book, there's a Lego turtle by Georgie's bed, the statue of Paul Bunyan is seen, some pieces of dialogue are verbatim from the novel, and there's even a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo by Tim Curry's version of that fucking clown. 

The chief rule of horror movies is usually not to show the villain/monster, but here it works BECAUSE they circumvent that rule. Some of the known ones are there (Georgie chasing his boat, Eddie encountering the Leper) but some are changed for the better or equal effect: Stan's encounter with the statue is removed, thank Christ, and replaced with one of the most horrifying pieces of artwork I have ever seen, in a sequence which makes me want to burn the concept of paintings themselves, and all buildings just to be safe; Mike's backstory is edited, mostly for the better and to remove the references to "The Shining", and instead of the bird in the pipe (one of my favourite pieces from the novel of batshit insanity) we get something... darker but nonetheless effective. 

The characters are done incredibly well. Each of the seven kids are sketched out fully and played by genuinely good child actors, which is the thing which would have made or broken this film. The standout, as I thought he would be, is Richie Tozier, my second favourite character from the novel, who allows you to laugh and rest easy after sequences of existential dread and wiping the urine off your seat. Ben is still prevalent, but sidelined after a while in favour of Bill and Beverly, which streamlines it somewhat, and makes it no longer "The Adventures of 3 Kids Beginning with B, and Some Other Assholes" as was in the book. 

Even Stan, the character who in the book gave me psychotic lapses into existential dread brought about by boredom, is given stuff to do here, including that aforementioned fucking painting. However, Mike is still somewhat shortchanged, making it still "The Adventures of 6 Kids... And A Black One, I Guess", though it's not that jarring and makes sense. Still, I like Mike.

The child orgy is also removed, as is the Patrick Hockstetter sequence involving a fridge full of leeches, though Hockstetter himself is still here (presumably to make his cameo in "Firestarter" later...). One of those things is for the better, and I'll leave you to decide which.

In summary: A great story, a great adaptation, spooky and atmospheric throughout, terrifying in parts, embracing its source material with love and affection without being pandering; and making enough changes to keep it fresh and excellent.

Ben is still the best character.

PS The photograph sequence, the best, most frightening part of the trailer, is just as effective in the movie, and a lot longer, actually rising in tension.