Friday, 10 January 2025
"Nosferatu" - Review
From the description of "Robert Eggers remakes Nosferatu" you get exactly what that implies: a big, grand, Gothic enterprise with a focus on the folksy-occult horror, some gore, some disgusting sound design and a use of the period details to enhance the experience and make you go "oooh, man I wish we got more period horror". There are good moments and homages to the original, clearly a love letter of sorts (for the record: I adore the 1922 F.W Murnau "Nosferatu" and still find it a chilling, striking visual affair with some nightmarish imagery and a haunting atmosphere, it holds up remarkably well) to the film (two characters are named after Murnau, the famous long shadow shot is replicated as a grip over the city itself), without feeling like either part is backing down. Willem Dafoe appears in the final act, and absolutely steals the show and relishes the material, and I did not know I wanted buddy cop adventures with him and Ralph Ineson until I got them. It's well constructed and features strong performances across the board, and a strong throughline about hunger and lust, and the perversion of it, all about the looming and creeping encroachment of his evil, like a shroud upon the city, with a couple of neat little notes on the buttoned up roles for women in society at the time. The stuff with Dafoe is excellent, cannot stress it enough, and one of my little goblin-boys Nicholas Hoult gets put through the fucking wringer.
But that's just it.
It's "Nosferatu" done by Robert Eggers.
I could be watching Murnau's original (still weird to say...). It's all nicely made, but I wasn't particularly gripped or spooked.
I don't know, I felt cold on it.
Sunday, 5 May 2024
"Boy Kills World" - Review
Something of a pisstake of the genre, wearing influences on its sleeve ("Streets of Rage", "Streets of Fire", various comic books, even an "Akira" visual in the closing credits I very much appreciated), it's a rapid fire flurry of mayhem and nonsense, never really overstaying its welcome. Bloody, brutal and turned up to eleven by all concerned, it benefits greatly from devoted performances from all concerned: Bill Skarsgard is very game as the deaf-mute; H. Jon Benjamin is droll as ever; a forever welcome and personal favourite Jessica Rothe (absolute icon and Queen) plays crop-top biker jacket sporting, axe wielding assassin "June 27" and threatens to steal the show, I love seeing her in parts like this; Sharlto Copley once again brings down the house; Andrew Koji (still proving himself to be a favourite of mine too) keeps his winning streak going as a Cockney rebel; everybody is playing it as a comedy. Michelle Dockery brings some of the satire as the token Van Der Koy who televises the violence. It's not trying to say much, it's just an homage and piss take of the movies which came before it: there's an excellent high energy joke involving a man with a beard (Isaiah Mustafa) which blocks The Boy from reading his lips, so he only speaks in gibberish. June 27 wears a helmet with light up symbols and words, a fun touch. As a nod to "The Raid", they even have Yayan Ruhian do his little "open clench fists" thing before a fight, which gave me a lot of glee. It's an excellent, violent pisstake and honestly? It's what "Argylle" wanted to be, only with a tenth of the budget and none of the smugness.
Highlights include a mansion battle and a snowman cereal mascot fight/callback.
It's good, unclean fun.
Friday, 28 October 2022
"Barbarian" - Review
Please watch "Barbarian".
Alright, I'll give you more than that.
It's a wild ride, unpredictable, nuts, bloody, and rather fucked up.
It also features some truly excellent performances, oddly from Justin Long, and Richard Brake doing what he does best: turning up to be primally, viscerally upsetting for about 5 minutes.
Fuck I love this madness.
Saturday, 5 February 2022
"It" Review - From the Vaults
Having just gotten back from "It", I can safely say that it is excellent, not just as a horror movie, but as an adaptation of the book. It captures the themes, characters and pants-shitting terror of the only book to have ever spooked the bollocks off me. It's an absolute blast, and if you don't want spoilers, I'd stop reading here.
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Okay, if you're sure!
The time-shift to the 80s works in the film's favour, they put a lot of effort into it without ramming it down your throat, so that it doesn't just feel like a "Stranger Things" parody (despite the appearance of Finn Wolfhard, more on him in a bit) and actually gives characters room to breathe and evolve. As an added bonus, when they are adults, it means that they won't be fighting the creature with zimmer-frames, knitted jumpers and copies of Glen Miller tapes.
They focus on the first part of the story, the kids, and adapt the tale in their own way whilst still honouring and adding touches to the source material. Case in point: the street names are exactly the same as in the book, there's a Lego turtle by Georgie's bed, the statue of Paul Bunyan is seen, some pieces of dialogue are verbatim from the novel, and there's even a blink-and-you'll-miss-it cameo by Tim Curry's version of that fucking clown.
The chief rule of horror movies is usually not to show the villain/monster, but here it works BECAUSE they circumvent that rule. Some of the known ones are there (Georgie chasing his boat, Eddie encountering the Leper) but some are changed for the better or equal effect: Stan's encounter with the statue is removed, thank Christ, and replaced with one of the most horrifying pieces of artwork I have ever seen, in a sequence which makes me want to burn the concept of paintings themselves, and all buildings just to be safe; Mike's backstory is edited, mostly for the better and to remove the references to "The Shining", and instead of the bird in the pipe (one of my favourite pieces from the novel of batshit insanity) we get something... darker but nonetheless effective.
The characters are done incredibly well. Each of the seven kids are sketched out fully and played by genuinely good child actors, which is the thing which would have made or broken this film. The standout, as I thought he would be, is Richie Tozier, my second favourite character from the novel, who allows you to laugh and rest easy after sequences of existential dread and wiping the urine off your seat. Ben is still prevalent, but sidelined after a while in favour of Bill and Beverly, which streamlines it somewhat, and makes it no longer "The Adventures of 3 Kids Beginning with B, and Some Other Assholes" as was in the book.
Even Stan, the character who in the book gave me psychotic lapses into existential dread brought about by boredom, is given stuff to do here, including that aforementioned fucking painting. However, Mike is still somewhat shortchanged, making it still "The Adventures of 6 Kids... And A Black One, I Guess", though it's not that jarring and makes sense. Still, I like Mike.
The child orgy is also removed, as is the Patrick Hockstetter sequence involving a fridge full of leeches, though Hockstetter himself is still here (presumably to make his cameo in "Firestarter" later...). One of those things is for the better, and I'll leave you to decide which.
In summary: A great story, a great adaptation, spooky and atmospheric throughout, terrifying in parts, embracing its source material with love and affection without being pandering; and making enough changes to keep it fresh and excellent.
Ben is still the best character.
PS The photograph sequence, the best, most frightening part of the trailer, is just as effective in the movie, and a lot longer, actually rising in tension.


