"Barbie" - Review

In a world of unyielding horror, divorced from emotion and human experience, purged of identity and soul and meaning: stumbles Barbie (Margot Robbie), a doll who has left her own world in search of the girl who plays with her (Ariana Greenblatt). Accompanying her across this post apocalyptic hellscape comes Ken (Ryan Gosling, we shall get to him), who sees himself as her boyfriend, on a quest for answers to his own identity and place in the world alongside his true love Barbie, who defines him. As Barbie spirals downwards, succumbing to depression, and Ken discovers the darkest impulses of man, a journey of self-discovery, self-actualisation, and the existential horror of our depressive lives ensues...

(Art by Joana Fraga)
You knew it was coming, the memes have been best described as "torrential" and the hype train has had no brakes on it. So here it is.
"Barbie" has lived up to it.
Greta Gerwig (this is the first thing I have seen of hers) has concocted a myriad of pastel coloured wonders, with a rapid fire joke rate subverting its plastic source material, and giving a different gag for every palette. There are surprise musical numbers, breaking the fourth wall, easy-but-still-funny swings for the fences of how Barbie as a concept has aged with girls in a more enlightened world, simple one-liners, a Michael Cera fight sequence and even an extended plot point about Nickelback (a personal favourite was a joke at the expense of "Zach Snyder's Justice League" of all things). A highlight for myself is (apart from the musical numbers, dance number reminiscent of old-school musicals and a shirt which reads "I am Kenough") a Scooby-Doo esque chase in an office cubicle which makes me want Greta Gerwig to make a "Looney Tunes" movie. It's fun, it's pastel coloured, it's a neon carnival of chaos and carnage:

And then, comes the candy-coated poison. I am A SUCKER for a movie with a sickly sweet exterior, hiding a dark centre, and "Barbie" has it in spades: it's about losing your mind, suffering from existential dread, desperately flailing in a downward spiral after perfection slips from your grasp and you begin to believe that you will never achieve anything. It focuses on existential dread, depression and then, in the second act, toxic masculinity stemming from a feeling of mediocrity and a lack of an identity or purpose in your own life, in a mirror to Barbie's own journey.
All this from a fucking "Barbie" movie, I swear to Christ...
Robbie is excellent, and the writing and characters pop, its style is fun without being obnoxious or overbearing. America Ferrera bears the emotional soul of the film, and bears it well, and there is a lovely emotional payoff with Rhea Pearlman (HELL YES) towards the end. It feels a bit crowded when Will Ferrell and his Mattel Goons show up in a throwback to "The LEGO Movie", but it works for the most part, and theire gags still land, only with a bit less bite (bar one about profits at the end). Kate McKinnon, unfortunately, shows up with what can only be described as "Miranda Hart on SNL in the 90s" energy, but is thankfully kept to a minimum here.

The highlight, as many could have predicted, is Ryan Gosling. Just... yes. Everything about Ken in this is letting him embrace his comedic chops, and showcasing the performance of his career.
A triumph.

"Babylon" - Review

The year is 1926, and at a raucous party held in the soon-to-annihilated mansion of a studio executive: a quartet of characters cross paths, soon to be destined to a life in the Golden Era of Hollywood. Manuel Torres (Diego Calva) is a starry eyed dogsdody who wishes to work on a movie set just once in his life; Nellie LaRoy (Margot Robbie) is a woman destined to become a star by any means necessary; Jack Conrad (Brad Pitt) is the biggest star of the era, and riding high at the prime of his life; and Sydney Palmer (Jovan Adepo) is a quick-witted trumpet player keeping his band in line so that they get noticed at this party and maybe get a few gigs... These disparate character cross paths, part ways, rise, fall and follow dreams both lost and found, theirs and other people's, as we see that maybe Hollywood is not what they or we expected it to be...

Raucous carnage and a shattering of the rose tinted lense. That is the fastest way to describe this movie, but also doesn't quite do it justice. Damian Chazelle has taken a flamethrower and a belt of hand grenades to his chances of making a mainstream Hollywood film, all on his own terms: it's decadent, disgraceful, perverted, long, ambitious, bitter, cynical, sneering at the studio system, and very, very, very funny.
Opening with a truly deranged, lunacy and cocaine fuelled 30 minute party scene of debauchery (after an elephant taking a dump on a man), the film doesn't really let up. It's an assault on the senses, and on the mind itself. It takes us to dizzying heights, terrifying lows, and more than a few creamy middles... It's relentless, with several fantastic highlights: an excruciating rehearsal sequence which, whilst hilarious, is nail biting in its frustrations and ends on a dark note; a chaotic back lot shoot with a hysterical director based on Erich Von Stroheim; and a surprise guest appearance from a very fun against-type Tobey Maguire as a mob boss pitching movie ideas, which takes a descent into the horrifying, nightmarish bowels of the city and a consuming maw mirroring the studio system - but that part does go on a bit long and come out of left field, largely. It is made up of fantastic scenes and embraces its layers of tragedy (frequently cutting from something horrific to something uproarious or jazzy, which never gets old) and has Eric Roberts in it (you hire Eric Roberts, you GET Eric Roberts!), which is always a bonus, and follows through on the ideas it presents - the ending in particular is an assault on the senses and a message about how we still enjoy the spectacle of Hollywood (though - fuck James Cameron). It's the little details which really shine through (Sydney being given a tin of polish is a standout, but the chat between Conrad and a columnist about his job also hits home). But the length will be a turn off, as will its deliberately off-putting material. People are going to tune out at different parts, and enjoy different parts, but Chazelle made something.
I highly doubt Hollywood wanted him to make this, but tha makes it all the more special.

"Suicide Squad" Review - From the Vaults

 So, "Suicide Squad..."

If this were made in the 90s (which it feasibly could have been, keeping the Will Smith character, replacing Leto with Matthew Lillard, replacing Robbie with Alyssa Milano, casting Freddie Prinze Junior as El Diablo etc) with the same plot line, style and soundtrack (give or take a few of the more modern songs), this would have been ahead of its time and pretty good.

As it stands, it's messy and clunky, with big pacing issues particularly at the start, but still fairly fun and watchable, carried by the charm of its cast and the few moments when the film is allowed to breathe. The villain is absolutely awful: They have two conflicting plans (I think) and about as many minutes of proper screen time, and I am struggling to remember a single thing about them, their motivations or their lines.

The fight scenes are fun, if also cluttered, and there are a few bright moments and colourful things going on to keep it afloat. There's a sort of funky, neon coloured graphic for each squad member with a quirky fact about them, the colour scheme is something other than black or very dark grey, and a few lines here and there do make me chuckle. Plus there is a simple joy in this sort of set up (Fiery Mexican gangster, Will Smith, annoying pop cultural void, Adewale Akkinouye Agbaje, the dude from the Robocop remake, a shitbag armed with boomerangs and a 90s anime depiction of Japan go forth on an adventure from which few of them shall return) 

Will Smith can carry this sort of part in his sleep, and Robbie makes what has ALWAYS been an irritating character into something watchable and not too grating. For every one of her gags that misfire, she has one which hits. Her arc isn't too horrific either.

Smith lands a good line every time he's required to make a joke, he's still as charming as he always is, and it's a wise move to make him the lead character. 

Joel Kinnaman, looking very much like an addled heroin addict taking on the form of a badger in a military fetish outfit, takes on the part of straight man, and has a somewhat interesting arc and pulls off his part admirably. 

Adewale Akkinouye Agbaje is ALWAYS a terrifying force of ungodly nature on screen, and it is only by his good graces that the part of Killer Croc succeeds. They're trying to go for a Drax the Destroyer vibe, but with a playful undercurrent, but most of his lines backfire, and it would have been nicer to have the man remain silent, or say some actual Adewale Akkinouye Agbaje lines. He still got the odd chuckle out of me.

I know literally three things about Cara Delavigne: she's frequently in the celebrity section of the i, she has a stupid name (both in this movie and in real life), and she is in this film. That is how much of an impact she makes.

Viola Davis actually is another who brings something to the table. Her character is unnerving and a bit of a knob, to be honest, and it's an excellent example of the true "grey area" that this film was trying to convey. I really wanted more of her.

But the star of the show, for me at least, was also indicative of the problems of the film. 

Captain Boomerang is played by Jai Courtney, and he is actually the one character (aside from Deadshot) who I'd be interested in following a movie about. All of his jokes hit, he's fun, his part is zesty, he brings humour and joy to the screen, he's an unrelenting shit-bag who brings some sort of drama to the dynamic, he carries a pink fluffy unicorn for some reason (in a quirky touch that actually seemed to fit the tone of the movie and its director) and I watched the movie legitimately hoping that he would not die (fully aware that Will smith and Margot Robbie's characters were as safe as Fort Knox) . Heck, in the final battle, he throws an ordinary boomerang at the main villain and I legitimately hoped that it would actually kill them, as that would have been pretty funny.

But he's a problem here, because he's underused and interesting. Much like Karen Fukuhara's "Katana", who arrives seemingly from another movie (and is the WORST bodyguard since Kevin Costner) only to be sidelined for everything save the fight scenes, despite being WAY more interesting than many, and her backstory about a soul-stealing sword containing her dead husband and a one-woman war on all organised crime being dropped in a single sentence. That's not something that you can just throw in there like a boomerang, that's a pretty interesting thing.

Same for Jim Parrack (yes, Jim Parrack's in this) as the henchman of the Joker, alongside a dude dressed as a panda. What's their story? I'd kind of like to know how they got to this point in their lives.

The plot has a simple set up, a definite end goal, and yet a muddled way of going about it. The gang seem to find out the power of friendship rather quickly and the introductions of the characters come thick and fast. 

But the soundtrack is good. It's not "Neon Demon" good, but is has a few gems in there even if it does have WAY too many music cues, as if trying to out-gun James Gunn. It does play "Fortunate Son", which made me happy, and there is some AC/DC in there.

It's a fun B-movie which is good for a couple of hours of entertainment. Take your brain out and watch one sitcom character (seriously, it's nice to find a movie that Jai Courtney feels at home in after all these attempts to make him a leading man)  and his buddies of varying interest go on a quest. Yes, it's a cynical attempt (more than most) to make Halloween costumes and play to success, but it's still fun.

I'll forget about it when I try to list the movies I saw this year, but it's not awful. This is certainly not (as one cro-magnon put it) worse than Fant4stic.