We begin our Van Dammeathon with "No Retreat, No Surrender", a movie I am only familiar with due to finding a copy of the unrelated cash-in sequel starring Cynthia Rothrock. This was an early effort from one Keith Strandberg, who apparently had never written a script before (Not to tip my hand too early, but we can tell...) and rewrote it over the course of filming, on set. But he's not important, in the greater scheme of things. For my purposes we are more interested in director Corey Yuen. An absolute legend of Hong Kong cinema, masterful choreographer and:
He's had something of a mixed/bum rap in Western films: his last effort as a director was the masterpiece of trash cinema "DOA: Dead or Alive", and his best work was with Statham in the fight scenes of "Transporter" and "Transporter 2", he's essentially the reason we have "Matrix" and "John Wick" movies (themselves influences on action movies today) now; like a Russian nesting doll of stylish violence.
So far we have all of the ingredients for successful fun: any script can be elevated by being given to a hungry unknown young star (Van Damme's big beautiful face is all over the box)
(Photo credit: Amazon. Fun fact too, my copy is a 12. Presumably everybody saw sense.)
Directed by Corey Yuen? What better way to start off the marathon by showing us what Van Damme can do!
Premise:
The film focuses on a young martial artist and Bruce Lee fanatic by the name of Jason Stillwell (Kurt McKinney), forced to move to Seattle after his karate instructor father (Timothy D Baker) has his leg broken and jimmies rustled by some mobsters out to shake down the various dojos.
(They also look like a slightly melted Serpico and are led by a machine-washed James Remar)
Van Damme plays the otherwise mute trump card of the mob, Ivan, and Jason must rise to the challenge of becoming a worthy warrior to defeat him!
Concept:
What we have here is a rather atrocious knock off of "Karate Kid". You'd think that the movie would be a coming of age tale, or a dude learning to channel the warrior spirit, but somehow the makers got confused and told the cast to play it as a romance between a city slicker and his new black neighbour R.J.
Seriously, the scenes feel like something out of a Canon Film (later a huge ally and backer of Van Damme's career), but I get ahead of myself. The big man himself is only at the very start of the film:
And then only reappears again right at the very end, in the final battle, which to be fair remembers that he is the main villain.
So, casting JCVD in a supporting villainous role in a "Karate Kid" knock off where he's not even the main bad guy?
Concept: 1 Point
So, onto Execution.
The movie disregards the conventions of cinema and feels like a facsimile of a homosexual romance, punctuated by fights scenes peppered through with the grace and coherence of a concussed emu reciting "Finnegan's Wake":
Be they birthday parties.
Homosexual grappling festivities enacted by Tommy Tallarico
His mother would be very proud.
Or dance offs:
It's not exactly the finest hour of Yuen for all of his talents, and seems to struggle to weave its script together into anything coherent, though we get some good young Van Damme kicks and fights in the aforementioned final act. You may not get that far, however, because the sound design is atrocious.
Is that the best I've got? Sound Design? Well, who the hell gives a shit about sound design and audio in the greater scheme of things on this hellish island?
Nobody!
So imagine why I noticed this horseshit? Every piece of dialogue was recorded in a bin they used to play the drums on "St Anger", and every sound effect from their bootleg VHS tape recordings is drowned in a swathe of synthesisers which make the scenes spooky for some reason.
Execution: 2
Charm
I cannot help but enjoy this Canon-Spawn progenitor of a movie. It's like a rough translation of a competent martial arts film, punctuated by some of the most ludicrous figures in cinema, but played with such confident earnestness by everybody except Van Damme (who remains stoic and deathly serious, here to show off his chops and prove that he belongs)
There's some sort of cartoonish, ridiculous over the top stylings to it all. Like, within moments of meting his gay lover R.J, our hero Jason is beset by a bully and chase scenes of R.J being hunted down by the large fellow ensue, and I swear that there is a moment when he pauses to do this:
(His name is Scotty and we shall get to him)
Seriously, the ludicrous sillines of it really works for me. It's a great time if you get some friends round and have a few beers to watch it with. And on one final note, the movie has the gall to be pure Brucesploitation (briefly: a genre so odious I cannot help but respect it, where lower budget movie makers capitalised on the death of Bruce Lee by making movies about it or featuring him as a character) by having his ghost arive to give advice to our protagonist after his beatdown.
Well, I say the ghost of Bruce Lee, it's more like a crayon-drawing of the man:
Villain.
Hooo boy.
So Van Damme is the main villain, right?
No, our main villain is a large kid named Scotty. I love his energy. He's like a Stephen King bully made manifest, then unleashed into a Saturday morning cartoon. His pursuit of R.J reads less like a grudge and more of an attempted lynching, especially when later (having immediately taken a disliking to our "Bruce Lee Freak", and deciding that violence against the martial artist teenager is a good idea) he tracks him to a car park and surrounds him with a bunch of other kids to attack, and then lies about the subsequent ass kicking in order to sic the local Tommy Tallarico lookalike on him in the karate studio (like I said, this movie's confused about villains and writing), but then we're expected to feel bad when the Russian annihilates the team of Seattle at the end, and he rushes to help one out of the ring.
I have so many pictures of this kid, I love him.
It was so hard to only pick one.
But I do have to deduct points because he is supplanted by the Tommy Tallarico lookalike in the confusing plot, who is then taken out by Ivan who saves the film again:
Man, Van Damme fucking rules in the finale, and really shows the star power he would later have, he's a natural here, and even gets to be a bit crazy when not forced to be stoic.
Villain: 4.
Final Score: 10 out of 20.
Bonus points!
We don't get any later alumnii for JCVD's later works, they probably would not wish to have come back, and I doubt he would have been on set long enough to make future allies, though I am gutted Yuen never came back to coreograph his later works.
So no points there.
No brotherhood either. Our lead guy Jason doesn't even have one. What the hell are we even doing here?
Groin!
This we can allow:
No dong, but hot holy hell, we get peak splits!
Bonus Point: 1.
Final Score: 21.
Not the strongest showing. But I suggest if you have the right kind of friends and enjoy trashy bad kung fu flicks, you'll get a laugh out of this. And Van Damme is the best bit, think of it as a taster for his later works.
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