Sorry once more for the delay, stuff has been going on. We now return to my epic descent into terrible comedy and the beating of a dead horse until it has melted into a fine gluey paste that sticks our chosen beating implement to the ground beneath it.
MILF-Luvver: sup babe
Lady111: Oh, it's you...
MILF-Luvver: wats that spsd 2 mean?
Lady111: Have you been spending time with my son?
MILF-Luvver: y?
Lady111: Your spelling and syntax are awful.
MILF-Luvver: Oh, nah, jst drunk lol
Lady111: I see... What is it you want, Claudius?
MILF-Luvver: Oh, rite, dtf?
Lady111: I beg your pardon?
MILF-Luvver: soz, talkin like ur son again. What I mean, dear lady, is that I wish to extend the offer of my companionship to thee, allowing for a suitable transition of grief between us. For I have lost a brother, you a lover.
Lady111: I apologise, that is indeed a fine proposition. I have been needing a suitable caretaker of this throne, it is awfully heavy.
MILF-Luvver: Oh that old thing? Sure, I guess I can hold onto it until Hamlet wants it. He and I are close, he'll need a calm hand through all of this, to help him.
Lady111: Oh Claudius, you are too kind. Please come round tomorrow for us to finish the details.
MILF-Luvver: No need, I'm outside.
Lady111: Oh. I see.
Anonymous1: Yo
Anonymous2: Yo
Anonymous1: You seen Ham?
Anonymous2: I have seen him.
Anonymous1: There is much wrong with him
Anonymous2: Much indeed is wrong with our friend.
Anonymous1: We should perhaps seek to rectify this?
Anonymous2: Why? Have thee ideas regarding the rectification of him?
Anonymous1: Only if you can tell me what is to be rectified.
Anonymous2: Alas, it is too late in the day for such thinking.
Anonymous1: Indeed, we have burnt much daylight.
Anonymous2: What?
Anonymous1: No idea, I say weird shit when I'm not high.
Anonymous2: I have come into the possession of weed.
Anonymous1: Into my possession has fallen "House of Flying Daggers".
Anonymous2: Tonight shall be good.
Anonymous1: This evening indeed shall be fine.
Midasdaddy: My dear Aloquisha, I am certainly interested in thine... "fair noble jewels". I shall of course require more information before parting with my gold...
Shankmaster: Still me dad. Log off
Midasdaddy: Ah. Ignore that, I think that one of Hamlet's friends must have hacked me again.
Shankmaster: Log off.
Midasdaddy: Honestly, those two, they'll never learn...
Shankmaster: I'm leaving.
Midasdaddy: Have a nice trip son!
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: hi babez
Sex_Bomb96: hi
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: omg babez! Ur online! Yay!
Sex_Bomb96: life sux
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: omg i kno rite! god, we have so much in common...
Sex_Bomb96: yeah... sure...
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: I mean, ur dads dead, mine knoes nothin about me, so he mght as well b dead!
Sex_Bomb96: yea. I know. I read your blog.
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: omg! I knew it! Have u seen my instagram account as well?
Sex_Bomb96: I'll do it later.
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: promise?
Sex_Bomb96: promise.
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: pinky promise?
Sex_Bomb96: sure
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: thanx! I'll go tell my penpal and take pictures of the castle.
Sex_Bomb96: You're so deep Ophelia.
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: thanx! luv u babez!
Midasdaddy: Ophelia my dear?
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: omg dad!!! ur online?! get off now!
Midasdaddy: Why? Is there one of those viruses?
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: if my gfs find out, ill be so embaressed ill die!
Midasdaddy: Your gfs? Oh you must mean those gif things your brother showed me! I have this fantastic one of a cat licking from a tap! Still, it doesn't seem to fit on these floppy disc things...
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: wat do u want?
Midasdaddy: It's about Hamlet...
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: omg dad! jst get out!!11! we llove each other! Get over it!
Midasdaddy: I don't think that he does, sweetheart.
xxPsycholuvver!!!xx: piss of dad.
Midasdaddy: I'll come back when you're feeling better.
Sex_Bomb96: Hoz? Hoz? You there boy?
Last living dude: Yeah, I'm here.
Sex_Bomb96: So... wanna go smoke pot with Rosey and Gil?
Last living dude: Little soon isn't it?
Sex_Bomb96: Nah, it's almost 5
Last living dude: I mean, it's a little soon after your father's death.
Sex_Bomb96: Oh I'm on that.
Last living dude: What do you mean?
Sex_Bomb96: I'm gonna be insane for a bit longer, check everyone out.
Last living dude: Dude, you were watching CSI again weren't you?
Sex_Bomb96: No
Last living dude: you always get paranoid and come up with these stupid crime theories or murder mystery shit! No, your dad was not murdered!
Sex_Bomb96: ... it was "Cracker"... And yes, he was!
Last living dude: Have you smoked that pot Rosencrantz has been growing?
Sex_Bomb96: He actually has pot?! Mother fucker lied to me...
Last living dude: Proof?
Sex_Bomb96: ghost
Last living dude: Getting real tired of your shit Hamlet. I'm off, I've got work in ten minutes. Take five, you need a break.
MILF-Luvver: Hello? Hello? Is anybody on this stupid server?
Anonymous1: Greetings to thee
Anonymous2: And salutations to thee.
MILF-Luvver: Good God... are you two idiots Rosencrantz and Guildenstern?
Anonymous1: Indeed we are
Anonymous2: Our names be those.
MILF-Luvver: Hamlet, you two know him well?
Anonymous1: Once we did, we knew him like our brother.
Anonymous2: But now he has grown distant from us all.
MILF-Luvver: I want you to talk to him, find out how he is.
Anonymous1: Certainly sir
Anonymous2: An amicable request indeed.
MILF-Luvver: Good.
Anonymous1: For we have aquired some pharmaceuticals.
Anonymous2: As well as his favourite film.
Anonymous1: I thought it was "Weekend at Bernie's"?
Anonymous2: No, that was his favourite comedy good fellow.
Anonymous1: Ah, thank you kindly for correcting me dear friend.
MILF-Luvver: Pharmaceuticals?
Anonymous1: Errrm
Anonymous: Dumbass.
MILF-Luvver: Just keep an eye on him. You idiots...
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