"Bodies, Bodies, Bodies" - Review

A storm is brewing. Bee (Maria Bakalova) is being taken by her girlfriend Sophie (Amandla Stenberg) to meet the latter's friends. They're having a "hurricane party" at the luxurious home of the ridiculously wealthy David (Pete Davidson), where Sophie can introduce Bee to her friends and catch up with people she's not seen since she went to rehab. They consist of the aforementioned David, a cocky amusing rich kid; the bitchy and passive aggressive leader Jordan (Myha'la Herrold), whose boyfriend Max is on the way and previously punched David in the eye; David's girlfriend Emma (Chase Sui Wonders), an upbeat actor; the shallow but nice podcaster Alice (Rachel Sennott), who seems genuinely happy to see Sophie again; and her mysterious cool older vet boyfriend Greg (Lee Pace). The gang's clearly got some unresolved issues with each other, particularly Sophie, and this starts to come to a head when they play "Bodies, Bodies, Bodies", all the while the storm approaches from outside and brews anew inside. Bee finds herself trapped in the middle of this evening as it gradually unfolds into a nightmare.

The trailer puts a certain vibe out there, and in the hands of a less-talented cast, director, writer and more, you can vividly imagine the cringe-inducing January horror movie of shallow, pettiness and lukewarm satire.
Instead, we get an excruciating social-anxiety inducing build up of these characters in a hellish setting, as Bee is forced to watch and endure and avoid things like the passive-aggressive Jordan, the obnoxious David, and even a few secrets Sophie has of her own.
Then when it kicks off, it remains a hilarious, slick, incredibly funny murder mystery, as the myriad of gossip, dirty secrets, well-seeded character arcs and brutal inter-personal fights come together in a meeting of mayhem and blood. There is a truly standout scene in a gym, akin to the lighthouse sequence in "Battle Royale", and the switching, subversion and development of the gang work in the film's favour and give it a much-needed edge and bite. A lot of hay will be made about lines in the trailer like "you trigger me" and "you're so toxic!" but in context the lines are excellent, they're given prominence in the trailer specifically to get some sort of reaction and rise. The characters are well-written, and performed even better
A stirling sophomore effort, funny and slick.
The ending is pure genius.

"Crimes of the Future" - Review

In a not too distant bio-tech future, pain has disappeared, and surgery is the new sex. Performance artist Saul Tenser (Viggo Mortensen) and his assistant Caprice (Lea Seydoux) push the limits of art with live extractions of hitherto unknown organs grown and extraced from Tenser in front of a wanting, clamouring audience. We follow them as they meet strange technicians Router and Berst (Nadia Litz and Tanaya Beatty), a sweet-bar chewing stranger with an unusual idea for Tenser's next performance (Scott Speedman); a nervy doctor at the "National Organ Registry" (Don McKellar) and his strange, nervous, somewhat aroused assistant Timlin (Kristen Stewart), in a world where pain, pleasure, organic, synthetic and normal and strange blur together in a cocktail of weirdness...

I love David Cronenberg.
There are no rules, this is a meandering, odd, compellingly strange tale akin to his older stuff ("The Fly", "Rabid", "Videodrome") right down to the deliberately off-kilter acting to help us be desensitised to this painless world the characters live in. It's very much a mood piece, and plot and character growth (Hah!) come second. It's a movie where people will chat about the morality and philosophy of evolution and art and flesh. It's a movie where the plot only really comes into play in the 3rd act, though to be fair the ending is pretty fucking good.
A woman performs fellatio on a man's organs.
A man covers himself in ears.
Chairs help a person eat by moving you around for maximum digestion and pleasure.
Saul and Caprice fuck whilst cutting themselves.
It's "Crash" with a growling, Michael Wincott-esque Mortensen, and I love it. It's arthouse gore with no real rules or conventions or care for typical structures and pacings the audience are used to, it's just Cronenberg being Cronenberg and having stuff to say and explore. Yes, there's a lot of it, and yes he goes all over the place and yes it doesn't conform to traditional narrative too well.
But it's undeniably his film, and enjoyable to boot. I love it, especially if you hold it up as something of a contrast to the cookie-cutter production line swill pumped out by many studios.
Love it or hate it, it's got vision and creativity and ideas.

Three Thousand Years of Longing - Review

A narratologist (Tilda Swinton) is going to tell you a story.
She is going to tell you a tall tale of tormented truth, for if she spoke it as it happened, you would not believe her. It is a story of love, loss, loneliness and the power of tales themselves, about the hold that stories have on us, and how blinded we are to our own legends. It is a tale of how she met a Djinn (Idris Elba) in a hotel room, and was granted 3 wishes, and a tale of tales as he asked to be regaled by his mythos leading to this perfect, fortuitous moment.
From the director of "Mad Max: Fury Road".

Please watch this.
George Miller has woven (with co-writer Augusta Gore, and based upon a short story by A.S Byatt) a modern day fairy tale. No cynicism, no jokes, no sneering disregard for such a thing - just something akin to "100 Years of Solitude" or "Arabian Nights", with what is essentially just 2 characters telling stories in a hotel room. He uses effects and editing to splendid degree (check out the simple storytelling flourishes of a book being placed in a box, to quite heartbreaking effect, alongside oil-paintings of world building and mood pieces), capturing an intoxicating and beguiling wonder of a natural storyteller. It's romantic, dark, twisted, fluid, and magical in equal measure, and the dialogue is like poetry out of these actors' mouths. You will be rooting for these crazy kids by the end of it (all the way to a sweet and well-earned conclusion) and it's something of a refreshing drink from an oasis in these dark and soulless times.
And it has Idris Elba naked for 90% of its runtime.
And Tilda Swinton sounds like her character in "Snowpiercer", if that's your thing.

I joke that you can't believe this is from the director of "Mad Max: Fury Road", but honestly: if you've seen "Babe: Pig in the City", you'll get it.

"The Invitation" - Review

Evie (Nathalie Emmanuel) is a struggling artist in New York city. Her mother passed away recently, and she is feeling listless. So as she works at a party for a DNA testing firm, she takes a chance and takes one: discovering that she is related to a rather wealthy English family. On a limb, she joins awkward cousin Oliver (Hugh Skinner) at a family wedding in England. She meets a variety of relatives and strangers, including dapper Lord of the Manor Walter De Ville (Thomas Doherty), but there may be sinister intentions behind her invitation...

It took a lot of effort to not put the synopsis of Karyn Kusuma's "The Invitation" there (please watch that film, it's excruciating in the best way), this film is an odd duck.
It has moments where its direction is pretty good (highlights involve a feast and the sloppy, messy soundsof eating and the close-ups of the food in a stark, disgusting detail; and a manicure sequence) but it never really rises above "fine". Largely it's a tonal problem, a common problem for films and particularly horror movies. Writer Blair Butler (whom I know as the model on the front cover of "Booster Gold" Issue 23) is going for a "Dracula" transplant (particularly Brides of Dracula, with the characters of bitchy Viktoria, Stephanie Corneliussen having fun, and adorable blonde Lucy, played by Alana Boden) and for a while that seems what they are going for: Baroque Goth drama and a fish out of water story with a likeable Nathalie Emmanuel.

Unfortunately it never reaches the tension it craves, and it also never hits the biting (hah) satire of something like "Ready or Not". When the climax happens it is fine. The catharsis isn't as earned as it could be. I don't think it helps that the chemistry between Emmanuel and Doherty doesn't spark and fizzle.
There's a few good jokes, and Sean Pertwee is fun as the dickish butler, but I'd best describe the movie as "inessential".

"Nope" Review

Otis "OJ" Haywood Jr (Daniel Kaluuya) has inherited the ranch of his legendary horse-trainer father (Keith David) after the latter's unlikely, unusual death one day, and struggles to follow in his footsteps alongside his more outgoing sister Emerald (Keke Palmer), whilst just across the valley they live in is a successful theme park "Jupiter's Claim" run by former child star Ricky "Jupe" Park (Stephen Yuen), with whom OJ does business to keep afloat.
One night, OJ sees something in the sky, and the siblings get an idea...

Jordan Peele is a fun director.
He makes solid, excellent horror movies which hark back to the classics, but this time actually respected by critics, and always with a fun sense of humour throughout. Here he has gone for an underrated, underused genre: the alien invasion movie, crossed with an old school monster movie. There's a long, intricate build up which sets an ominous tone, and the camerawork and groundwork for the mystery are some stirling stuff. Yeah it's not exactly subtle (one character's co worker is called "Nessie"), but it's fun and exceedingly effective stuff: a personal highlight for me is a supremely tense sequence involcing the use of, all things, "Sunglasses at Night" and a van. The build up is sinister and great, and when the film introduces its versions of Hooper and Quinn from "Jaws" (here a tech-specialist named Angel, played by Brandon Perea, and a documentarian named Antlers Holst, a name as cool as the fact that he is played by Michael Wincott in 2022), right down to Holst singing an acapella version of a song ("The Purple People Eater", kind of chilling here) round a table, it amps up the ante to some wonderfully bizarre madness.
Fuck I've missed Michael Wicott in movies, and he's great here. Recognisable instantly, he growls his way through a performance as Antlers Holst best described as "deranged". I like that they implied he's dying in it: a man obsessed with spectacle and finding the imposible, even if it destroys him...
This movie is fantastic fun (check out this straight up "Akira" shot below), and when the monster movie kicks in it is a wild ride: blood, mayhem, chaos and raining blood.

(That's the good shit)
But there are also references to "Neon Genesis Evangelion" of all things.
Above and beyond, however, this is also a movie wearing its messaging on its sleeve of ambition, for good or for ill. It's about the consuming need for spectacle and the belief that we can tame and humanise the monsters we see. OJ respects and understands the creatures he interacts with whilst Jupe (in a genuinely horrifying plotline) has monetised trauma and profited off of tragedy, and belives that his survival is because he is special or that he had a connection with a rabid animal.
God there is just so much to love about it (perfect use of Daniel Kaluuya's "there is something untoward going on over there, but it is none of my business" face, his performance where he doesn't make eye contact with people, that first "nope, fuck that" in the barn, the quite humorous thing he does in the van, Stephen Yuen's sleazy Jupe who can be read in different ways such is the nuance of his performace, the fucking NUTS creature design, Michael Wincott, and the bugnuts ending) but other parts which may grate on some (the long build up, the humour, the bugnuts ending); though one thing remains: it's still very much its own thing, should be applauded, and is fantastic fun. I love it.
Also thank you to Peele for reminding people that chimps can go fuck themselves.

Bullet Train - Review

A mismatched gang of misfits, madmen, maniacs and murderers gather together on a sleek, eponymous public transportation method. Ladybug (Brad Pitt) is a bespectacled "snatch and grab" specialist trying to rediscover his Zen and overcome his perpetual bad luck; The Prince (the delightful Joey King, in a cinematic release for a change) is an innocent British schoolgirl who may be bottled chaos; Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, finally getting good roles again) and his brother Lemon (the always welcome Bryan Tyree-Henry, channelling his inner Daniel Kaluuya and making me think that the makers could only afford one of the "Widows" alumnii); dishevelled and desperate Yuji (Andrew Koji, becoming a favourite of mine); The Wolf (Bad Bunny), with an axe to grind; and a myterious 6th assassin all find that their paths are intrinsically linked, and that there is obviously a lot more going on here than meets the eye. As Ladybug tries to find a positive outlook on life and overcome his run of bad luck, he finds himself in the middle of a long-boiling, long overdue plot about to spew over into mad, wild violence.

This is not advertised as a comedy, but absolutely is.
A raucous, silly, candy-coloured kaleidoscope of carnage, with wacky characters thrown into a blender and allowed to rattled about in the confines of the soon to be bloody bullet train. The build up is intricate and convoluted, and by the end it peters out and collapses a little bit, but it rattles on by with a quick-fire speed, particularly with the excellent use of the title-card gimmick (which I am glad is making a comeback) that pays of in a good, silly way. The banter is quick-fire, but doesn't feel repetitive, the characters are all uniquely funny: from the stress-induced panics and desperate desire for peace of Ladybug (who realises that he is in way over his head), the "innocent schoolgirl" act of Prince working on every single person she meets without fail, to the personal highlights of Lemon and Tangerine bickering about Thomas the Tank Engine and being utterly, utterly British. Tyree Henry and Joey King (also playing it British) have pretty good and stable accents too, as a side note. The highlights are, personally speaking, Tangerine and Lemon: a wonderful double act with a sordid past and absolutely my bread and jam. A pair of bickering killers with a dry wit and lots of love for each other beneath their gritty exteriors.

I also appreciate how ridiulous Lemon looks, as well as how Tangerine is channelling his inner Matthew McConnohie.

The cast are having fun, particularly Pitt and the aforementioned Lemon and Tangerine, and the ever-bloody-excellent Hiroyuki Sanada shows up to bring gravitas and deliver the absolutely fucking raw line of "your guilt has rested upon your heads, I shall separate you from both", just delicious. I love that actor. Perhaps one of the larger surprises comes from our Lord and Saviour, Netflix Queen Joey King: finally getting a good film in the cinemas in forever

.
(I see you "Shibumi" reference. Leitch had you in "John Wick" and will continue to ram that terrible bok down our throats)
It doesn't quite match her performance on "Nailed It", where she was pure, unbridled anarchy in the kitchen, but I like her as an actor: she really has fun with the part. The fight sequences are creative in their constraints, they are bloody, they are quite funny and, par for the course for a David Leitch movie, excellently choreographed. It has some slick, smart editing and a great sense of style, tonally there's never really any dissonance. An odd quirk of this is some of the unusual flashbacks and callbacks, which could have been left out, but work here. Some may dislike the longer-than-usual buildup, and there are a few jokes which go on a little long, but there's enough playful fun and wackiness to keep the film bouncing along. The finale does drag, having the worst excesses of "Hobbs and Shaw" as it leaves the train and gets too-CGI heavy, and a couple of cameos get distracting (though one of them is played for laughs, and a sex joke), but it's not a deal-breaker.
I do also wish that the Conductor gag had kept going, it's underused and never comes back.
I recommend this film as a raucous wild ride.
Side note: Rex Reed, who is still getting work apparently, calls this the worst film he has ever seen. If that is not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Also I'm not going to talk about the White-Washing of the book, I'm not touching that beehive with a bargepole held by another person.

"Swan Song" Review

Pat Pitsenberger (Udo Kier) was once the toast of the town's high society, a hairdresser to the rich, famous and fabulous. Now he sits in a retirement home, listless and dwelling on the past, and sharing cigarettes with the more frail, forgotten residents - lavishing attention on those forgotten by the world. When a lawyer comes to him with news that his old client, town philanthropist and queen bee Rita Parker Sloan (Linda Evans), has passed away and specified in her will that she wanted Pat Pitsenberger to do her hair, Pat breaks out of the home on a quest to fulfill this final request and confront the petty grudges and various distant memories of his past...

It has been far too long for Udo Kier to get a leading role in something. The man has been a staple of not just the wonderful stuff I love ("Suspiria", "Johnny Mnemonic", "Invincible", "The Editor"), and the trash we all love ("Blade", "Iron Sky") and the worst things ("Far Cry", "Dogville", "BloodRayne") - this has been a long time coming. Do insert your "Story of O" punchline here...
He relishes the chance, truly, and Pat is a wonderful character.
He is played as catty and camp, yes, but still subdued in that Udo Kier way, and all the more heartbreaking for it. His initial interactions with a fellow patient in the home (treating her hair, calling her beautiful and acting just as he would have years ago...) set the tone not just for our hero, but the film itself: a tender, sweet-hearted story free of malice, but still heart-wrenching.
Director Todd Stephens (the stronger of the 2 "movies about a character who lives in a society" directors working today, and the one who isn't a sneering prick) uses the lovely, picturesque, quaint small town backdrops to wonderful effect, almost fairytale in parts, but undercut with the fading architecture, dying businesses and poorer areas. I liked the shot at the start where Pat left his room and turned the sign on his door over, and it lingered on the happy face just a little too long...

Pat is old, but coming out once more, freeing himself. The colour grading is brilliant (pun intended), and amplifies a twist nicely. The stage sections of Pat in a fur coat bookend the film sweetly and with a tight little bow.
The film really hits its stride after Pat leaves the retirement home, and becomes a story of letting go of grudges, but then morphs into a more complex take on what has happened to gay sub-cultures, the erasure of gay spaces, the lessons lost, learned and forgotten by the new generations of queer people, and truly blossoms there. It's touching, sweet, heart-breaking, but also very funny, and a celebration of saying "fuck you" (the catty lines are great without being mean-spirited or having Pat be a dick, and him on the mobility scooter is excellent); though it never gets cloying or sentimental or treats its character with too much reverence. Pat still makes bad decisions, backs out of things, and farts about (though the wine scene is quite funny, actual king that man is...) and it's telling how much both Udo and the writer relish the chance to breathe life into this character as well as use him to explore these dying worlds and the themes of death and loss. It becomes a real triumph in its final act, reaching an amazing use of "Dancing on My Own", yet not even peaking there and continuing to a well-earned, beautiful finale that more than lives up to its title.
It is about letting go of grudges, but also of how much we can impact the lives of others without even knowing it (one of about 3 times I got choked up in the film) and how, at the end of the day, we all want to be remembered but few get to remember you for who you truly are.
Makes a palette-cleansing chase shot to "Red Rocket".