"Imaginary" - Review

Children's picture book artist Jessica (DeWanda Wise) must navigate the trials and tribulations of moving back into her childhood home and caring for her 2 stepdaughters, complicated by the realisation that she is trapped in a Jeff Wadlow movie.

Another banger from the master of incompetence, Jeff Wadlow!
In an era of skin deep corporate, name recognition swill and "brand recognition" designed for algorithms and metric data making for shitty movies; it's refreshing to have a movie fumbled by an incompetent dullard rooted in the horror movie wastelands of the 2000s. I've missed you, Jeff Wadlow!
If you don't know who this cinematic visionary is, allow me to regale you: Wadlow is behind "Truth or Dare" (reminding people that Blumhouse started out with crap which made money... AFTER they had started seeing success and winning Oscars); "Kick Ass 2" (the sequel so bad it stopped them making a 3rd before Mark Millar's writing could: so, you know, the best one!), "Never Back Down" (the martial arts movie shot like fucking "Dragonball"), "Fantasy Island" (his... "best" one?) and "Cry Wolf" (fuck my life, I hate that movie... Okay, that's the worst one. Being the worst Jeff Wadlow movie is like being the most generic English singer-songwriter, like, they're all pretty bad, but one of them is Jake Bugg.). Wadlow's a man who knows no fear, knows not cringe, despises tonal consistency, and is almost always on the verge of knowing what he is doing.
This is firmly a Wadlow masterpiece.
All hail Jeff Wadlow, for bringing out things in bad horror films as a checklist, and showing us the way to badness: just have a vision which fails!
He is like a facsimile of other, good horror movies: objects will move when characters are not looking, a looming, shadowy figure will be genuinely creepy in the background (the first time...), and the ending features an "Insidious"-esque crossover with M.C Escher.
But the first 10 seconds (new record, Jeff, touche!) are a brightly lit, statically shot spider man in a suit chasing the lead through a dream sequence, marking this firmly as a Wadlow-cinematic universe movie. He has an earnestness on display, but the scripting, pacing, scares, atmosphere and even in some cases acting are just bad.
It's honestly kind of enjoyable like that.
The film plays out like a checklist:
Oh, the wise old lady.
Oh, the kid is being weird.
Oh, the thing the main character is scared of comes back. (Though honestly, that is oddly competent for you Jeff, kudos!)
Oh, the eldest daughter is kind of a bitch.
Oh, the boyfriend is COMICALLY shit.
Anyway, it has a few goofy, funny things (the dad just leaves for the movie, and the ending has 3 fake outs, and some of the monsters are very "Coraline"), but no Lindy Booth in this one, so zero stars.
Kudos Jeff, I want more shit movies like this.

"Lisa Frankenstein" - Review

A few years after surviving an axe murderer who killed her mother, Lisa (Kathryn Newton, on the rise and somebody I am happy to see doing well) has moved to a new town, where she is shy, withdrawn, and awkward. Living with her quiet father (Joe Chrest, from "Stranger Things"), her viciously, emotionally abusive stepmother Janet (Carla Gugino, fuck yeah!) and her popular, bouncy stepsister Taffy (Liza Soberano); she attempts to navigate the perils of highschool, her only friend is a long deceased man (Cole Sprouse) who, after a lightning strike, awakens from his grave...

Scripted by Diablo Cody, firmly trying to recapture the magic of "Jennifer's Body" and the funnier parts (and queer energy) of "Juno", and directed by Zelda Williams in her debut feature, it's an odd duck.
The script tries packing in the sassy, quirky zingers and attempts at queer energy, but almost reverse engineered, and the tone and direction aim for indie quirk, and the two never quite align, despite excellent performances from Newton and Soberano. Williams adds some good touches, like animated sequences and touches and nods to "Bride of Frankenstein" in some surreal dream sequences, and the bright, poppy and colourful design and aesthetic comes together nicely. But the energy is never quite there, and is in direct opposition to the direction: so it never clicks or vibes the way it needs to, and feels like they are on different pages. Cody's writing is Marmite at the best of times, so when it's not as good as it could be here, the weaknesses shine brighter, and when Williams is trying to make something a tad more subversive, in an ironic played straight kind of way, it amplifies that yet again.
Still, the performances are nice, and it's harmlessly charming and quirky enough.
Fun fact: I didn't actually nkow this was set in 1989 until Lisa stated the year: I just thought they were all hipsters.

"Dune: Part 2" - Review

On the run from the Harkonnen family after they murdered his father and burned his house to the ground, Paul Atreides (Timothy Chalomet) is living among the Fremen on the planet Arrakis. Alongside his mother (Rebecca Ferguson), he learns the ways of these people, and dreams of the day he shall enact vengeance upon the Harkonnens. But as he falls for local girl Chani (Zendaya), he finds himself the subject of worship from Fremen leader Stilgar (Javier Bardem), who believes him to be a prophesised saviour who shall lead The Fremen to Paradise, Paul must also contend with nightmares up and down his walls about killing millions as a result of this prophecy - yet if he wishes to succeed in his goals, maybe this prophecy must come true...

Spellbinding

"Wicked Little Letters" - Review

It is the 1920s, and the quaint English town of Shirehampton is under attack.
Somebody is sending vulgar, profanity fuelled letters to upstanding Christian woman Edith Swan (Olivia Colman) and her stuffy parents Edward and Victoria (Timothy Spall and Gemma Jones). The latter 2 suspect brash, bolshy Irish neighbour Rose Gooding (Jessie Buckley), and all seems open and shut. But when new Women Police Officer Gladys Moss (Anjana Vasan) raises doubts about this theory, she is ignored and the community finds itself confronting a spiralling secret of vulgarity going against the norms they have been raised upon!

A fairly funny, foul mouthed little film really elevated by the performances of Colman and Buckley. Whilst some of the humour gets a bit broad and "Saturday morning sitcom", it keeps a good pace, weaves a fine line between multiple genres, and stays pretty funny. At the end of the day, it's a solid little film about frustration, and the social norms of the time and how they constrict and ruin us, and the burgeoning beginnings of breaking free of it.
Plus I get to see Dame Eileen Atkins say "Fuck them up their fucking arseholes" and swig from a canteen.

"Out of Darkness" - Review

The year is 43,000 BC. A disparate group of humans stumble into the unfamiliar shore of a new world seeking shelter, food and a new beginning for their story. Adem (Chuku Modu) is the brutal hunter leading them. His mate Ave (Iola Evans) carries life within her. His brother Geirr (Kit Young) carries the spear to protect them. His son Heron (Luna Mwezi) is their hope for a new beginning. Old Storyteller Odal (Arno Luening) is the keeper of wisdom. And the new, recently rescued stray Beyah (Safia Oakley-Green) will be whatever their leader deems her to be, regardless of her wishes. These disperate, hungry people find themselves on the precipice of a new age, with something in the woods stalking them, blending into their nightmares, and bringing their nightmares to a horrifying reality which they must band together to face if they are to survive...

A startlingly bleak, stripped back and refreshing debut from Andre Cumming and screenwriter Ruth Greenberg, taking things back to basics.
The film is, at first, a minimalistic tale of survival: hunting for food, keeping an eye on one's children, escaping the cold, and chafing under the brutal but perhaps necessary rule of the leader. It's done with sweeping, cold, vast shots of the skyline which illustrate just how alone they are here; and the entire film is spoken in an artificial language, which is a really, really cool touch. The whole thing evokes those brutal, stark survival films we've been missing all these years, and its attention to details and superstition lay the bedrock for an increasingly dread-fuelled atmosphere. But Cumming and Greenberg don't neglect character either, weaving a complex dynamic in the tribe with simple choices from the actors and screenplay: Adem's rule, Geirr's idealism, Beyah's search for her place here, it's good writing. Safia Oakley-Green is the real standout here.
Then when the supernatural comes in, the monster beyond the treelines and the haunting, bloody horrors it brings, and the film keeps up the pace, though wobbles a little bit, before sticking the landing: becoming a movie about violence and its cycles, and the primal, deep rooted horrors of the unknown...
It stays brutal, stark and on message, and ends on a dark, grim, but still somewhat hopeful note.
I highly recommend it.

"Madame Web" - Review

Paramedic Cassie Webb (Dakota Johnson) has a terrible bedside manner and general awkwardness about her. When she falls into a river and is rescued by her partner (Adam Scott), she realises that she has the ability to see the future! Things get worse, for our plucky little weirdo, when she has visions of three women cosplaying as teenagers (Sydney Sweeney, Isabela Merced, and Celeste O'Connor) being tracked, hunted and murdered by a barefoot goblin named Ezekial Sims (Tahar Rahim), who may have a connection to her past. Webb must go on the run with these kids, master her powers, and find a way to stop him...

Nobody expected this to be good. But I will give it this: it's a lot better than "Argylle".
It's surprisingly coherant, I was following it scene to scene, it was never out and out incompetent, it was merely a bland and forgettable, underwritten exercise in pondering why the writers of "Morbius", "Gods of Egypt", "The Last Witch Hunter" and "Dracula Untold" keep being allowed to commit their works to the screen. The film is almost good when the three girls (superfluous characters, but welcome additions to the proceedings) are giving each other shit, bantering and bandying about with each other. Their characters are underwritten archetypes (O'Connor is the sassy, punky rebellious rich kid, Sweeney is the quiet, meek girl, Merced is the science geek) but with the little material that they have, the three steal the show. Johnson plays Webb with what can only be described as a dare: she deliberately gives the worst possible line reading, layered in sarcasm in every scene, and it kind of works as a massive prank on the makers of the film?
There's little to say about the film, in all honestly. Hyperbolic "content" goblins have their knives out describing this as "the worst film yet", and you and I and even they know that that is not anywhere near the truth. It just washes through you. The 2003 setting (I TOLD you this was going to be a thing!) is never quite prominent enough or timely enough to work, and is relegated to a few uses of a Beyonce poster and a couple of lines here and there though, INFURIATINGLY, they use "Toxic", a song which was not released until 2004. But I'll allow it, because it's "Toxic".
The use of stolen NSA surveillance technology is a cute enough little commentary, but again it's never really used or dwelt upon and is there to help our villain do his schemes. But I did appreciate that I knew what the villain was doing and why, it's you know, worryingly rare? I know that Rahim can act: I've seen "A Prophet", so it has to be a scripting issue.
Adam Scott is a genuine, unironic highlight, even if he's playing "Uncle Ben" for absolutely no reason other than corporate mandated links to a superhero I don't actually like that much but whom Sony are trying to sell a series of movies on teasing his appearance. It's corporate swill, but Scott is a funny and engaging performer, and again the film threatens to have interesting things when it's the girls staying at his place and becomes "Ben Wyatt babysitting some kids".
I honestly love Isabela Merced, and Celeste O'Connor to death and am delighted to see them getting more work and paycheques, and I like Sydney Sweeney from "Anyone But You" (though here she's dressed in a fetishised approximation of a schoolgirl, somebody's kink I'm sure), and I wish the actors in this and director SJ Clarkson all of the best in whatever their future projects are. It never soars, but it never nosedives into oblivion either. It just treads water.

"Anyone But You (Valentine's Day Encore Edition)" - Review

Struggling self-conscious law student Bea (Sydney Sweeney, with Kat Dennings energy) is trying to use the toilet at a cafe. She meets himbo Ben (Glenn Powell) in the line, and they hit it off. She spends the night at his house with a grilled cheese sandwich, and they fall asleep after opening their souls to each other. But a misunderstanding next morning leaves both furious with each other, though happy to never meet again. However, fate intervenes when Bea's sister Halle (Hadley Robinson, who looks like Kirsten Dunst) and Ben's best friend Claudia (Alexandra Shipp)) meet, fall in love and invite them to the wedding. Despising each other, the pair will have to put on a show of pretending to be a couple, in order to not ruin the weekend, and simultaneously hook up Ben with his ex girlfriend Margaret (Charlee Fraser) and keep Bea's parents (Rachel Bloody Griffiths and Dermot Bloody Mulroney!) off her back about how she left her perfect ex Jonathan (Darren Barnet, with Dave Franco energy). Sparks fly and worlds collide, into maybe something more...

Director Will Gluck (behind the great "Easy A" and nice enough "Friends With Benefits") is, in the nicest possible way, stuck firmly in the 2010s. The film is highly polished fluff, with no real frills or surprises, and it is sleekly done. It's not as witty as "Easy A", it's not as romantic as "Broken Hearts Gallery", it's not got the electrifying chemistry of "Past Lives": but it doesn't need to. It's a standard romcom retelling of "Much Ado About Nothing" with cute little title cards and quotes throughout, in a rather Will Gluck touch. It works for what it sets out to be: its leads are likable enough (Powell is the stronger of the two, but for the first thing I've seen Sweeney in, she's not bad. Oddly cast maybe, they wanted a Molly Gordon or Emma Stone I think, but she works) and the supporting characters are sweet and kept me chuckling enough to be entertained from scene to scene. There are a couple of gem lines and reactions, and whilst the stakes are exceedingly middle class and lower than the box office returns of "The Flash"; it ticks along sweetly enough. Again, it is not setting out to ignite the world.
I am happy that this is getting word of mouth praise: the concept is sweet enough, and of all things deserving of making money, a script not trying to be "expanded universe" swill, it's cute and honestly endearing and refreshing to see this. I think that nobody is more surprised than the cast: my edition (which has been extended and placed in theatres for longer, because also what else are you going to watch?) came with a wholesome little thank you message at the front from Powell and Sweeney, and a post credits selection of bloopers and rendition of "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield. I was smiling and cheerful throughout the film, and the ending credits are a wonderful celebration of people who just seem happy to be there and making movies, and honestly that is refreshing. I recommend it for what it is! Kudos Mr Gluck and company!
Also, Bryan Brown from "F/X" is in this! Sweet! And it's always nice to see Alexandra Shipp and Dermot Mulroney get more work.