"The Invitation" - Review

Evie (Nathalie Emmanuel) is a struggling artist in New York city. Her mother passed away recently, and she is feeling listless. So as she works at a party for a DNA testing firm, she takes a chance and takes one: discovering that she is related to a rather wealthy English family. On a limb, she joins awkward cousin Oliver (Hugh Skinner) at a family wedding in England. She meets a variety of relatives and strangers, including dapper Lord of the Manor Walter De Ville (Thomas Doherty), but there may be sinister intentions behind her invitation...

It took a lot of effort to not put the synopsis of Karyn Kusuma's "The Invitation" there (please watch that film, it's excruciating in the best way), this film is an odd duck.
It has moments where its direction is pretty good (highlights involve a feast and the sloppy, messy soundsof eating and the close-ups of the food in a stark, disgusting detail; and a manicure sequence) but it never really rises above "fine". Largely it's a tonal problem, a common problem for films and particularly horror movies. Writer Blair Butler (whom I know as the model on the front cover of "Booster Gold" Issue 23) is going for a "Dracula" transplant (particularly Brides of Dracula, with the characters of bitchy Viktoria, Stephanie Corneliussen having fun, and adorable blonde Lucy, played by Alana Boden) and for a while that seems what they are going for: Baroque Goth drama and a fish out of water story with a likeable Nathalie Emmanuel.

Unfortunately it never reaches the tension it craves, and it also never hits the biting (hah) satire of something like "Ready or Not". When the climax happens it is fine. The catharsis isn't as earned as it could be. I don't think it helps that the chemistry between Emmanuel and Doherty doesn't spark and fizzle.
There's a few good jokes, and Sean Pertwee is fun as the dickish butler, but I'd best describe the movie as "inessential".

"Nope" Review

Otis "OJ" Haywood Jr (Daniel Kaluuya) has inherited the ranch of his legendary horse-trainer father (Keith David) after the latter's unlikely, unusual death one day, and struggles to follow in his footsteps alongside his more outgoing sister Emerald (Keke Palmer), whilst just across the valley they live in is a successful theme park "Jupiter's Claim" run by former child star Ricky "Jupe" Park (Stephen Yuen), with whom OJ does business to keep afloat.
One night, OJ sees something in the sky, and the siblings get an idea...

Jordan Peele is a fun director.
He makes solid, excellent horror movies which hark back to the classics, but this time actually respected by critics, and always with a fun sense of humour throughout. Here he has gone for an underrated, underused genre: the alien invasion movie, crossed with an old school monster movie. There's a long, intricate build up which sets an ominous tone, and the camerawork and groundwork for the mystery are some stirling stuff. Yeah it's not exactly subtle (one character's co worker is called "Nessie"), but it's fun and exceedingly effective stuff: a personal highlight for me is a supremely tense sequence involcing the use of, all things, "Sunglasses at Night" and a van. The build up is sinister and great, and when the film introduces its versions of Hooper and Quinn from "Jaws" (here a tech-specialist named Angel, played by Brandon Perea, and a documentarian named Antlers Holst, a name as cool as the fact that he is played by Michael Wincott in 2022), right down to Holst singing an acapella version of a song ("The Purple People Eater", kind of chilling here) round a table, it amps up the ante to some wonderfully bizarre madness.
Fuck I've missed Michael Wicott in movies, and he's great here. Recognisable instantly, he growls his way through a performance as Antlers Holst best described as "deranged". I like that they implied he's dying in it: a man obsessed with spectacle and finding the imposible, even if it destroys him...
This movie is fantastic fun (check out this straight up "Akira" shot below), and when the monster movie kicks in it is a wild ride: blood, mayhem, chaos and raining blood.

(That's the good shit)
But there are also references to "Neon Genesis Evangelion" of all things.
Above and beyond, however, this is also a movie wearing its messaging on its sleeve of ambition, for good or for ill. It's about the consuming need for spectacle and the belief that we can tame and humanise the monsters we see. OJ respects and understands the creatures he interacts with whilst Jupe (in a genuinely horrifying plotline) has monetised trauma and profited off of tragedy, and belives that his survival is because he is special or that he had a connection with a rabid animal.
God there is just so much to love about it (perfect use of Daniel Kaluuya's "there is something untoward going on over there, but it is none of my business" face, his performance where he doesn't make eye contact with people, that first "nope, fuck that" in the barn, the quite humorous thing he does in the van, Stephen Yuen's sleazy Jupe who can be read in different ways such is the nuance of his performace, the fucking NUTS creature design, Michael Wincott, and the bugnuts ending) but other parts which may grate on some (the long build up, the humour, the bugnuts ending); though one thing remains: it's still very much its own thing, should be applauded, and is fantastic fun. I love it.
Also thank you to Peele for reminding people that chimps can go fuck themselves.

Bullet Train - Review

A mismatched gang of misfits, madmen, maniacs and murderers gather together on a sleek, eponymous public transportation method. Ladybug (Brad Pitt) is a bespectacled "snatch and grab" specialist trying to rediscover his Zen and overcome his perpetual bad luck; The Prince (the delightful Joey King, in a cinematic release for a change) is an innocent British schoolgirl who may be bottled chaos; Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson, finally getting good roles again) and his brother Lemon (the always welcome Bryan Tyree-Henry, channelling his inner Daniel Kaluuya and making me think that the makers could only afford one of the "Widows" alumnii); dishevelled and desperate Yuji (Andrew Koji, becoming a favourite of mine); The Wolf (Bad Bunny), with an axe to grind; and a myterious 6th assassin all find that their paths are intrinsically linked, and that there is obviously a lot more going on here than meets the eye. As Ladybug tries to find a positive outlook on life and overcome his run of bad luck, he finds himself in the middle of a long-boiling, long overdue plot about to spew over into mad, wild violence.

This is not advertised as a comedy, but absolutely is.
A raucous, silly, candy-coloured kaleidoscope of carnage, with wacky characters thrown into a blender and allowed to rattled about in the confines of the soon to be bloody bullet train. The build up is intricate and convoluted, and by the end it peters out and collapses a little bit, but it rattles on by with a quick-fire speed, particularly with the excellent use of the title-card gimmick (which I am glad is making a comeback) that pays of in a good, silly way. The banter is quick-fire, but doesn't feel repetitive, the characters are all uniquely funny: from the stress-induced panics and desperate desire for peace of Ladybug (who realises that he is in way over his head), the "innocent schoolgirl" act of Prince working on every single person she meets without fail, to the personal highlights of Lemon and Tangerine bickering about Thomas the Tank Engine and being utterly, utterly British. Tyree Henry and Joey King (also playing it British) have pretty good and stable accents too, as a side note. The highlights are, personally speaking, Tangerine and Lemon: a wonderful double act with a sordid past and absolutely my bread and jam. A pair of bickering killers with a dry wit and lots of love for each other beneath their gritty exteriors.

I also appreciate how ridiulous Lemon looks, as well as how Tangerine is channelling his inner Matthew McConnohie.

The cast are having fun, particularly Pitt and the aforementioned Lemon and Tangerine, and the ever-bloody-excellent Hiroyuki Sanada shows up to bring gravitas and deliver the absolutely fucking raw line of "your guilt has rested upon your heads, I shall separate you from both", just delicious. I love that actor. Perhaps one of the larger surprises comes from our Lord and Saviour, Netflix Queen Joey King: finally getting a good film in the cinemas in forever

.
(I see you "Shibumi" reference. Leitch had you in "John Wick" and will continue to ram that terrible bok down our throats)
It doesn't quite match her performance on "Nailed It", where she was pure, unbridled anarchy in the kitchen, but I like her as an actor: she really has fun with the part. The fight sequences are creative in their constraints, they are bloody, they are quite funny and, par for the course for a David Leitch movie, excellently choreographed. It has some slick, smart editing and a great sense of style, tonally there's never really any dissonance. An odd quirk of this is some of the unusual flashbacks and callbacks, which could have been left out, but work here. Some may dislike the longer-than-usual buildup, and there are a few jokes which go on a little long, but there's enough playful fun and wackiness to keep the film bouncing along. The finale does drag, having the worst excesses of "Hobbs and Shaw" as it leaves the train and gets too-CGI heavy, and a couple of cameos get distracting (though one of them is played for laughs, and a sex joke), but it's not a deal-breaker.
I do also wish that the Conductor gag had kept going, it's underused and never comes back.
I recommend this film as a raucous wild ride.
Side note: Rex Reed, who is still getting work apparently, calls this the worst film he has ever seen. If that is not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Also I'm not going to talk about the White-Washing of the book, I'm not touching that beehive with a bargepole held by another person.

"Swan Song" Review

Pat Pitsenberger (Udo Kier) was once the toast of the town's high society, a hairdresser to the rich, famous and fabulous. Now he sits in a retirement home, listless and dwelling on the past, and sharing cigarettes with the more frail, forgotten residents - lavishing attention on those forgotten by the world. When a lawyer comes to him with news that his old client, town philanthropist and queen bee Rita Parker Sloan (Linda Evans), has passed away and specified in her will that she wanted Pat Pitsenberger to do her hair, Pat breaks out of the home on a quest to fulfill this final request and confront the petty grudges and various distant memories of his past...

It has been far too long for Udo Kier to get a leading role in something. The man has been a staple of not just the wonderful stuff I love ("Suspiria", "Johnny Mnemonic", "Invincible", "The Editor"), and the trash we all love ("Blade", "Iron Sky") and the worst things ("Far Cry", "Dogville", "BloodRayne") - this has been a long time coming. Do insert your "Story of O" punchline here...
He relishes the chance, truly, and Pat is a wonderful character.
He is played as catty and camp, yes, but still subdued in that Udo Kier way, and all the more heartbreaking for it. His initial interactions with a fellow patient in the home (treating her hair, calling her beautiful and acting just as he would have years ago...) set the tone not just for our hero, but the film itself: a tender, sweet-hearted story free of malice, but still heart-wrenching.
Director Todd Stephens (the stronger of the 2 "movies about a character who lives in a society" directors working today, and the one who isn't a sneering prick) uses the lovely, picturesque, quaint small town backdrops to wonderful effect, almost fairytale in parts, but undercut with the fading architecture, dying businesses and poorer areas. I liked the shot at the start where Pat left his room and turned the sign on his door over, and it lingered on the happy face just a little too long...

Pat is old, but coming out once more, freeing himself. The colour grading is brilliant (pun intended), and amplifies a twist nicely. The stage sections of Pat in a fur coat bookend the film sweetly and with a tight little bow.
The film really hits its stride after Pat leaves the retirement home, and becomes a story of letting go of grudges, but then morphs into a more complex take on what has happened to gay sub-cultures, the erasure of gay spaces, the lessons lost, learned and forgotten by the new generations of queer people, and truly blossoms there. It's touching, sweet, heart-breaking, but also very funny, and a celebration of saying "fuck you" (the catty lines are great without being mean-spirited or having Pat be a dick, and him on the mobility scooter is excellent); though it never gets cloying or sentimental or treats its character with too much reverence. Pat still makes bad decisions, backs out of things, and farts about (though the wine scene is quite funny, actual king that man is...) and it's telling how much both Udo and the writer relish the chance to breathe life into this character as well as use him to explore these dying worlds and the themes of death and loss. It becomes a real triumph in its final act, reaching an amazing use of "Dancing on My Own", yet not even peaking there and continuing to a well-earned, beautiful finale that more than lives up to its title.
It is about letting go of grudges, but also of how much we can impact the lives of others without even knowing it (one of about 3 times I got choked up in the film) and how, at the end of the day, we all want to be remembered but few get to remember you for who you truly are.
Makes a palette-cleansing chase shot to "Red Rocket".

"Brian and Charles" Review

I'd like to preface this film by saying that it had an absolutely delightful audience, and a surprisingly large one at that. Go and support local, weirder, smaller projects! In a tiny cottage: Brian (David Earl) is a lonely eccentric inventor working on a variety of odd projects. His latest, however, is built from an old washing machine and various parts he finds on his scavenging runs, and seems to work: a robot who chooses for himself the name "Charles" (Chris Hayward). Together they bond and learn about life and each other, then are forced to confront the looming threat of the darker side of life and human existence...

An utterly delightful little movie, bursting with charm as it tackles the old classic of "robot learning to be human", but through the lense of an utter anorak and the quirks of British humour. Brian is played as an inventor who doesn't make much good stuff, but has his heart in the right place, without being at all cloying or a charicature of mental illness. He's just a delightfully odd, lonely man, who makes an equally odd robot and falls in love with a local girl named Hazel (Louise Brealey, always welcome), whose romance doesn't seem forced or creepy in any way. It's earnest and sweet.
But the star of the show is Charles (co-writer Chris Hayward, wearing a washing machine) who gets so may of the big belly laughs. The true spark of life is having them play him as a growing teenager, complete with a classic teenager exchange which completely fucking killed me.
It's not going to se the world on fire, but it is a solid, sweet caper.

"The Black Phone" Review

The year is 1978, and a small community in Denver is living under a shadow. Children keep going missing, and others whisper of a figure known only as "The Grabber" spiriting them away to certain death. Finn (Mason Thames) is a bright and bullied boy, who fears this killer almost as much as he fears living with his abusive father (Jeremy Davies); and when he becomes the latest victim of "The Grabber", it falls to his sister Gwenn (Madeleine McGraw) to hunt for him, thanks to cryptic clues in her dreams. Finn must contend with The Grabber (Ethan Hawke), and whatever his plans for the boy may be, and all seems lost, until the phone in his cell starts ringing...

This movie was good.
Scott Derrickson has a good eye for horror, and makes them well. The central concept is strong, written as it is by Stephen King's clone, and unique. I love how the first 20/30 minutes of the movie are just Finn, Gwenn and their lives, as they live in the shadow of a great evil. It's excellent build up, and lays the foundations very well, establishing our characters, strengths and future plot points. When the plot kicks in, and The Grabber arrives, it's been worth the build up. The mask is trerrifying, and Hawke is always excellent. He seems to relish the part, and it is genuinely disconcerting to see him in this role. It's more concerning seeing him shirtless.
The film comes alive with him on screen, but wisely manages not to overuse him.
Thames and McGraw are excellent finds, and can carry the movie on their shoulders.
The film suffers from some of Derrickson's excesses, however, namely in the really awful jumpscares. He'll be using this concept incredibly well, weaving an interesting story, creating a brooding atmosphere, great editing (the use of Super 8 films as dreams is not only 100% a Scott Derrickson thing, but kind of inspired), when BOOM! There'll be an annoying loud orchestral score akin to somebody kicking a piano down the stairs of a violin shop, as if he thinks we're bored by this.
Thankfully these are not all over the place, like in a January horror movie, but they are frequent enough to get annoying.
The film has a good premise, oozes atmosphere, and doesn't have a lot of good things to say about the police (the ending shots are great), and its climax is very well-earned. James Ransone threatens to steal the show as a coke-fiend in a shirt made of numbers. I love him so much, he is a gift.

"Good Luck To You, Leo Grande"

Nancy Stokes (Emma Thompson) is a widow, repressed sexually after an incredibly boring marriage. But she has a plan: she has hired a sex worker by the name of Leo Grande (Daryl McCormack) to try things she never had a chance to, and to give her a wild time. Over the course of a few meetings, Nancy starts to come out of her shell, learns about Leo Grande, learns about sex, and boundries are formed, pushed and tested.

This was a genuinely touching, sweet, nuanced and human look at sex, sexual awakenings and pleasrue. The characters are well sketched, McCormack is excellent (especially coming of the back of the also good "Pixie"), Thompson is always wonderful, and it doesn't feel exploitative or sleazy in any way. It's dam good, and the dancing sequence genuinely got me emotional. The script is by Katy Brand (a welcome surprise) and rather than being a laugh a minute romp, it focuses on the humanity of the characters and feels like a stage play, in a good way; though there is an excellent "Your Mum" joke which genuinely got me.
I really recommend this.