"Prisoners of the Ghostland" Review - From the Facebook Vaults!

 "Prisoners of the Ghostland"

This is maybe the most normal Sion Sono movie, and only 8th weirdest thing to happen in this one

In Japan, a mysterious spillage of nuclear waste rendered a small region into a wasteland. Ruling over "Samurai Town" is The Governor (Bill Moseley), a white-clad cowboy with a personal harem of "granddaughters" and his loyal samurai bodyguard Yasujiro (Tak Sakaguchi). When The Governor's "granddaughter" Bernice (Sofia Boutella) goes missing in this wasteland after a late night joyride, he enlists a notorious prisoner (Nicolas Cage) to get her back. But there are caveats: he is equipped with a suit which will detonate his testicles if he attempts to violate her, and destroy his arms if he tries to strike a helpless woman, as well as ones which which simply kill him if she does not speak her name into a device after 3 days. Thus "Hero" embarks on an odyssey of the strange, a Gonzo-mashup of genres, venturing into the unknown...

In case you couldn't tell from that, this is a Sion Sono film. If you don't know who Sion Sono is: he's when Takashi Miike goes to film school and tries to enter Cannes. There is his visual flair on display here: lots of bright colours, some comedy sound effects (bells ring whenever Nicolas Cage is kicked in the testicles) and the entire film reads like a parody of the macho-hero genre, and of "Escape from New York" in particular, with some "Toxic Avenger" and old school samurai movies tossed in for good measure.

It's marketed as the craziest thing Nicolas Cage has ever done (and indeed has a quote on the box from the Lord himself stating as much) and it indeed is a wild ride, but honestly it's quite tame for Sion Sono. For a start it's one of his shortest movies, and the most comprehensible and straightforward (a pulpy movie about redemption and "reawakening" but with the class system and inequality sprinkled in) in the lunatic's ouevre, but for Cage I will confess this does give us some highlights and reminds us why he is great in action movies (screaming about his testicles in front of a clock tower, having a wrist-blade fight with a samurai, and screaming "Hi-FUCKING-yah!" not once but twice), there is some solid gold for fans of Cage both serious and memetic.

But the film is a lot better than it needs to be with the premise it has, and I actually give it a good rating!

Update

Hey there!

As you may have noticed/been prompted: I am using this blog again! 

I have decided  to transfer all of my many, many, many movie reviews on Facebook onto this, and shall be attempting to keep them coming on here! So expect many more things here, from films you forgot even came out.

"Pig" Review - From the Vaults

 "Pig"

Rob (Nicolas Cage) is a hermit living a simple existence with his truffle pig in the woods. When some thugs enter his home, beat him senseless and steal the pig, he is forced to come out of hiding, enlist the aid of Amir (Alex Wolff) the truffle seller and only person he interacts with, and track her down...

What could have been a "John Wick" style melodrama instead becomes a sweet, endearing little film about closure, facing down one's past, and the simple things in life which truly matter.

I highly recommend it.

"West Side Story" Review - From the Facebook Vaults!

"West Side Story" 

Going to tell my kids this is the live-action "Akira" remake

In 50s New York city, the white street gang Jets fight for control of their neighbourhood against who they see as usurpers: the Puerto Rican "Sharks". Under the leadership of Riff (Mike Faist) and Bernardo (David Alvarez) respectively, tensions are high. Things come to a head when former Jet Tony (Incel Elgort) comes out of prison and falls heads over heels for Bernardo's sister Maria (Rachel Zegler). A whirlwind romance and a backdrop of racism, violence and cultural clashes are set to follow...

Look, you know "West Side Story", we all know this one.

Spielberg has got a spectacular eye for things in this, his cinematography, choreography, lighting and costuming are all top tier stuff. His opening shots are of the homes of our main characters being demolished to make way for a leisure centre (a pretty good touch), and there's a fantastic use of shadows at the Rumble which makes the police into the same spectral, intimidating force as the gangs themselves, for example. There's lots of touches like that.

He's also not ashamed to be making a musical (unlike professional hack Tom Hooper), and truly embraces the medium.

Now, the meat and potatoes of it. I unfortunately have to start with the glaring flaw: Tony.

Richard Baymer, for all his flaws and faults, had a charm to him, and really seemed at home on screen. He belonged in movies. Tonsil Igor, however, is a bland meandering void of talent and charisma vacuum whose mere presence brings things to a screeching halt. I do appreciate him going to a consistent vocal coach, even if his singing is bland and lacks character; and on a side note I do take note of the balls in going-method for "guy who creeps on girls". It's a choice. He's atrocious, and the first few numbers are rather Tony heavy - That being said, "Something's Coming" is so good a song and the choreography and styling in the pharmacy so well done that it survives despite him.

Alvarez and Faist are excellent finds, the latter in particular is more wiry and cunning Riff (who is probably the best character in the play aside from Anita) and it works; whilst Alvarez is menacing and charming in equal measure. Honestly? I wish Faist was playing Tony: he's charming as fuck, and his dialogue and rapport with Ingram Eldritch is fantastic.

But then there's Rachel Zegler and Ariana DeBose.

Holy shit what finds.

Just... holy fucking shit these guys are good. I can't stress enough how much they just run rings around (almost) everybody on screen. So I'll just leave that there.

Highlights: the dance where Maria and Not-Richard-Baymer meet is gorgeous, a sumptuous delight.

The small sub-plot about new Riff Jack growing into the gang and becoming disillusioned is a nice touch, and comes to a head in "Gee, Officer Krupke". It's cool.

The number "Gee, Officer Krupke" (a personal favourite of mine) is great: set in the police station waiting room, and allowing the Jets to really showcase their talents, having fun with the setting and props.

"America" (my favourite number, and the best) is just spectacular on screen, and when the movie really comes into its own. It's just a barn burner, and I may prefer it to the original 1961 version.

Rita Moreno: she gets given "Somewhere" (she plays Doc's widow, a neat little touch), and holy fucking shit that is incredible. Not ashamed to say that I cried.

Any time DeBose, Alvarez, Zegler and Faist are on screen, the movie is just electriying.

This movie is so good that it manages to not only survive having Anchor Emblem, but THRIVE having Amstell Elbow in its cast.

Please fucking watch this.

"Lamb" Review - From the Facebook Vaults!

"Lamb"

A pair of farmers in Iceland (Noomi Rapace and Hilmir Snaer Gudnason) witness one of their flock birth a lamb, then adopt it. Things ensue...

The build up is excellent in this new A24 movie (because of course it is an A24 movie) and director Valdimar Johannsson has an excellent eye for dread. The first 20-30 minutes are an oddly ominous "day in the life of farmers", until the twist kicks in. Much like "Annette", it has a trump card to play, hiding it and teasing its reveal. 

But unlike "Annette", when it plays its trump card it loses momentum. For a while there is more of that fun family dynamic in a cult comedy sort of way, especially when Petur shows up and I was expecting him to play it as Creepy Uncle Charlie from "Stoker" (I also just want to talk about "Stoker" with people and wish most movies were "Stoker").

Despite keeping up its atmosphere, however, it falters in its ending.

Spoilers!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

It feels unearned, after trying to go for a shocking "The VVitch" style ending (complete with Black Phillip Who Fucks) but also wanting to have an ambiguity to it throughout. If it had gone off-the-rails crazy like "Malignant", "The VVitch" or "Stoker", then it would have been improved. I'm not saying I wanted Noomi Rapace to fuck a goat, but I'm just saying

"The 355" Review - From the Facebook Vaults!

 "The 355"

The fan fiction potential is... yeah

CIA Operative "Mace" Brown (Jessica Chastain) is on the trail of a mysterious hard drive which can hack and control anything. A chaotic chase across the world ensnares British suit wearing hacker Kadijah (Lupita Nyong'o), completely out of her depth psychiatrist Graciela (Penelope Cruz), and German renegade loner and kind of a dick Marie (Diane Kruger), who all end up having to bury the hatchet and work together in order to survive and untangle the script.

This is perfectly fine, servicable nonsense. It's not going to set the world on fire, but it's got enough character moments (a nice "fish out of water" honeypot for Penelope Cruz, for example) and some fun set pieces (a chase in a Moroccan Market and an auction house seduction being highlights) to overcome a rather silly, generic script, and it's the sort of thing you want from a spy movie.

It's a rental.

"Code 8" Review - From the Vaults!

 "Code 8"

In Lincoln City, a tiny fraction of the population are born with superpowers, but are feared and ostracised by society. One such individual is Conner (Robbie Amell), a construction worker with the power to control electricity. His mother Mary (Kari Matchett), a cryokinetic shop worker, is ill and he needs money to pay her bills. Desperate, he is recruited by the telekinetic criminal Garrett (Stephen Amell) and his gang, who perform heists for sleazy local crime boss Marcus Sutcliffe (Greg Bryk). But as they fall deeper into the quagmire of criminal enterprise, the net of law enforcement draws ever closer, and betrayal lies at every turn...

I liked this.

It's a fun first effort from director Jeff Chan, which manages to rise above the "oppressed mages" cliche by adding some important details which make it better than, say, "Bright". There's a cool little montage of news stories at the start about "legislation" and documentation of powered people, drawing obvious parallels and allegories with immigration and racial politics in the US (though it trips up a little bit by focusing on a bunch of white dudes, but baby steps), as well as how these folks with superpowers are effectively forced into lives of crime. There is a great scene early on where they are working as undocumented builders for a guy willing to use their talents but not respect them as people, fitting in today's society.

It's a simple enough plot, heist movies and betrayal, which is fun enough , though the large number of characters leads to a fair few of them being rather underdeveloped. It's still a fun, interesting, unique take on the oversaturated "super powers" movie genre, and I think it's good fun.