"The Naked Gun"

Do you really need anything here?

(Photo Credit: The Hollywood Reporter. I need to do this more often. Apologies.)
It was fucking funny, a great, wild time, just an old-school comedy of joke after joke after joke, and I was consistently giggling my tits off. Highlights include a particularly unhinged snowman sequence, a deranged jazz performance from Pamela Anderson, and a conversation with the barman. Puns, slapstick, wordplay, rule-of-three and more, there's comedy for everybody here.
Great time.

"In the Lost Lands" - Review

In the distant post apocalyptic future, a witch (Milla JovoWITCH. Eyyyy!) makes her living granting wishes to others. To accomplish one such wish: she ventures forth into the lost lands of yore, accompanied by a mysterious snake-slinging stranger (Dave Bautista) to hunt a shapeshifter.

More hot trash from Paul W S Anderson!
The movie is exactly what you expect from him: a soupy CGI pile of nonsense and madness (Milla Jovovich outruns a Crusader train and kick flips a man in a bus, before using fire to fend off tree-monster people in a power plant) aimed squarely at 13 year old kids with its mish mash of Goth and religious imagery (Jovovich fights with retractable druid scythes, which is cool, and the main villains are a post apocalyptic oppressive church who dress like crusaders of old), and a simple enough story about buddy cops in the wastes leading into an anti-establishment revolutionary tale. It's absolute nonsense, all green screen and cliches, with rather broad performances across the board. And you know what? I'm okay with it. This kind of thing is absolutely harmless, and par for the course with Jovovich and Anderson, an extended form of foreplay where the latter shows off his hot wife (here covered in tattoos and spin kicking people) and the former gets to do what almost no woman over 40 is otherwise allowed to do in Hollywood: be an action movie heroine. It's actually kind of refreshing and good for the eco-system of films in many regards: pure pulpy fun, and Bautista (in between diversifying his portfolio of performances and proving himself to be an excellent actor) gets to play a gunslinging badass for a few weekends. I don't mind it at all. Meet it on its own low brow, pulpy nonsense terms and as one of the works of Paul W S Anderson, and stick around to hear Bautista yell "Bitch killed my snake!".

"The Last Showgirl" - Review

On the Las Vegas strip, an ancient show is drawing to a close. Le Razzle Dazzle is closing down after decades on the strip. Shelley (Pamela Anderson) is concerned for her future, and offended by the end of a tradition; whilst co stars Mary-Anne (Brenda Song) and Jodie (Kiernan Shipka) look to the future. Complications arrive for Shelley in the arrival of her daughter Hannah (Billie Lourd), whom she abandoned years ago...

The narrative here is good: Pamela Anderson relishes the part, understands the character inside and out, and has been chomping at the bit for something like this. I'm not actually familiar with Pamela Anderson's roles outside of "Borat" (not being Chandler Bing or Joey Trebbiani), but her image as a "talentless bimbo sex symbol" has been plastered across the world, broadcast and branded into the flesh of popular culture for years now. So honestly this was a long time coming and I'm glad it happened: she plays Shelley well as not some Saint or tragic figure, but a 3-dimensional mess. Shelley is a deluded relic, drifting in the modern day, but also simultaneously aware of her own legend as well as exaggerating it, she's inconsiderate but also maternal to her fellow dancers in place of the daughter she left. There's depth to the character and Anderson plays it well, this was always going to be a showcase for her talents. Shipka and Song are strong too, particularly the former, in their supporting parts and I am happy to see them getting work. Jamie Lee Curtis appears as a properly washed up, gambling addicted cocktail waitress friend of Shelley, given the humorous parts, and almost overplays it but manages to reign it in just enough to threaten to steal the show.
But it's Dave Bautista who gets the finest hour, in my eyes, in another piece of consistently inspired casting: I've loved that he's taken on more dramatic roles and weirder projects, and here gets the scenes which resonated with me the most. He plays the old lighting technician and possible old fling of Shelley, and has a wonderful scene in a restaurant. He underplays the part wonderfully.
[insert snide remark about my favourite part in a movie by and about women being the token man]
I am delighted that Bautista is getting this kind of stuff, great job man!
However.

You knew it was coming! The script betrays its routes as a stage play, and not in a good way.
Some of the dialogue (particularly with Billie Lourd, unfortunately, an actor I like - watch "Booksmart") is stilted, and simply actors describing a scenario and their thoughts on it and each other. Or a few rather clunky exposition lines, dropped like hand grenades.
Combined with the shooting, which is done on film and comes across like a dreamy attempt as Cassavattes movies or Sean Baker (who is thanked in the credits) works with sunny skyline shots, it is a strange brew indeed, but the rawness maybe will add to it for some people? Personally I wanted it to be grittier (it's at its best when it's backstage with the dancers, having them in benign evironments or tearing their costumes whilst dressed so garishly) or emotionally rawer/subtler in its dialogue (Shipka gets an excellent scene on Shelley's doorstep, and the diner scene with Batista is a personal highlight, as is his meeting Hannah). Enough of it works that I think it's going to land (there's a great scene where Jamie Lee Curtis gets hammered and dances on a table to "Total Eclipse of the Heart", capturing her early glory, and it cuts between the asinine, lonely life of Bautista's Eddie and Anderson's Shelley practicing in front of the television, that's the highlight, this baroque over the top celebration of glory over a deep rooted sadness) and it aims for a tragic tone, but the scripting prevents it from truly soaring.
What's here works though. Come for Anderson, stay for her, Bautista and Jamie Lee Curtis.

"Guardians of the Galaxy: Volume 3" - Review

A few years after another movie, and the events of the second, our eponymous team of misfits live in the enormous skull space station of "Knowhere". Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) is drinking away his sorrows over a lost love; Gamora (Zoe Saldana) has joined intergalactic pirates "The Ravagers"; Drax the Destroyer (Dave Bautista, always welcome) is the bouncer, bully boy and loveable muscle of the station; Rocket Raccoon (Bradley Cooper) has somewhat softened to his found family; Groot (Vin Diesel) is Groot; Nebula (Karen Gillan) is now a true blue member of the team, complete with a new arm and an attitude best described as "done with nonsense"; Mantis (Pom Klementieff) is absolute perfection, and I wouldn't change a thing about her; Kraglin (Sean Gunn) is trying to master his mentor Yondu's arrow; and they even have a new dog friend named Kosmo (Maria Bakalova), who is most certainly a BAD dog. But when the weapon of an old foe charges through their new home and wounds Rocket, the race is on to find a cure for his condition, hurling them into the orbit of the critter's bastard creator "The High Evolutionary" (Chukwudi "Clemson Murn" Iwuji) and forcing them to not only learn about their friend's secret past but put a stop to his creator's dreadful plans and save the galaxy once again...

It is difficult for me to parse this film from the others, as I have an unhealthy love of James Gunn's work and the first 2 movies. I remember being incredibly excited about his hiring for the first film and having full faith in the material (he made "Super", the best superhero film we're going to get, and I will not be taking questions at this time. Watch "Super"), and he even responded to me once on Facebook in a comment about "Nightbird" from "The Specials." The first film is a vibrant, pastel coloured breath of fresh air which holds up to multiple viewings, and the second carries that over into an emotional gut punch wrapped inside of candy-coloured mayhem, akin to a bonbon with a a cyanide centre.
This one struggles to reach those same heights and freshness, but manages to act as a satisfying conclusion for the series, landing on just the right emotional beats and wrapping things up in a somewhat rushed but altogether sweet way, despite some messy trappings in the middle.
It's as satisfying a send off as one could hope for.
The film soars when it's the gang together, bouncing off of each other and being characters, Gunn finally relishing the ensemble nature fully and putting Peter and Gamora on the back burner for this venture. Mantis consistently falling and stumbling, but being the wholesome heart of things (as well as a sister/buddy cop to Drax, the true highlights of the film, including a gag about a sock and a fantastic use of her powers), Drax being Drax and getting the best gags for the most part when not Mantis, and Nebula being the furious big sister of the crew in lieu of Rocket, who spends the majority wounded and unconscious, giving us his truly dark backstory hinted at and spoken of over the last few movies and tying into the themes of fatherhood and his growing arc over the last 2 films. The flashbacks work well for the most part, and Iwuji makes a wonderful dickhead villain. It's refreshing, as of late, to have a return to legitimate fuckheads and shitbags on screen, and he relishes the part. I hope he goes far, he is a talented actor, and in between being quite vicious he manages to have fun with the line "there is no God! That's why I stepped IN!".
Gunn has some return to his Troma and funny days, with scenes of a panda mowing the lawn, telekinetic dogs, and generally creative stuff, but it loses some focus in the middle, and the songs feel blunt and on the nose and perfunctory for the most part after being so integral and fun in the first. It's still James Gunn, however, and tugs at the heartstrings (a line about Drax being a father rather than a destroyer got to me) despite the weak (though best he could do given the circumstances) links to "Infinity War" and "Endgame" - though to be fair those parts were always going to be awkward, having to deal with the sexist reversal of some great growth of one of its lead characters... The middle is bloated, as I say, and whilst functional, loses mometum after a standout heist sequence in a flesh prison, a starship chase and falling just not really matching, before regaining some of that wonderful momentum to a team-fight sequence set to The Beastie Boys.
But whilst I'm harsh on it, it seems, I do like it, I think it works, it pulls it together at the end in a way which rewards viewers of previous movies: a line about Raccoons, talks of found families, Mantis and Drax getting more to do, returns from The Broker and Ayesha, and more.
It comes together in the end. Oh, he uses "Since You've Been Gone" by Rainbow, and "No Sleep Till Brooklyn" by the legendary Beastie Fucking Boys. It more than earns the song it uses in the mid-credits...
And moreseo than this, it feels a movie about moving on, passing the torch. We get cameos from old Gunn hands (Nathan Fillion, the cool Steve Blackehart, fuck yes Linda Cardellini, Mikaela Hoover yay, Uncle Lloyd Kaufman, and even damn Judy Greer! Getting that "Specials" love in there, no complaints from me! And Judy Greer is always wonderful, and ALWAYS underused.) yes, but also some of his more recent wonderful friends and efforts with DC (Jennifer Holland, again please watch "Peacemaker", Daniela Melchior as a receptionist, who is ALWAYS welcome in a movie, and even Pete Davidson of all folks! Here he's not having sex with beautiful women. Touche!), representing something of a passing of the torch, and a meta commentary of moving on to new things. Gunn and the Guardians are moving onto new, nice things, and there will always be a place in our memories and our hearts for the journies we have had for them, but now it's time to look to the future, and the new stories they are going to grace us with.
Godspeed, you legends.
It's been wonderful.