Monday, 30 March 2026

"They Will Kill You" - Remar or Not...

Fresh out of prison and looking for her younger sister, Asia Reaves (Zazie Beetz. Also: har-har) gets a job at a high-rise apartment complex named "The Virgil" (har-har) as a maid. But it soon becomes apparent that she is intended as the sacrifice for the wealthy residents and their Lord Satan, and she must battle her way out.

(Credit: The New York Times)
It's an action movie knock-off of "Ready or Not", and not just from the trailer and basic premise of rich people being demonic and embarking on a "Most Dangerous Game": beat and moments occur pretty much in the same place (from a 3rd act betrayal and a helper amongst the rich, to a hand stabbing and a dark revelation), there is a comedic emphasis on the incompetence of the violent rich (here with the additional twist that they are immortal and come back to life) and their tomfoolery, and even some contract law towards the end. Holy shit, it even does the "what happened?" and a retort of "rich people"...
It's all done with an action movie bent, however, so despite some of the more glaring flaws (some superfluous repetitive dialogue for the second screens, a rather shallower cast of characters) the overly stylised and Samurai-adjacent shots which would otherwise be distracting are done in service to some fairly fun and well-choreographed fight sequences: I particularly enjoyed the sick as fuck burning axe sequence.
Meet it halfway on its own trashy terms and you'll enjoy it as an uneven but fun enough film just the right side of camp: Patricia Arquette is given a rather flat villain but makes her memorable with a dodgy Irish brogue; Paterson Joseph gets 4th billing (huzzah!) and James Remar shows up as a pig man, meaning that I am legally obliged to watch it; Tom Felton also shows up and is just dreadfully bland and forgettable.
Weirdly, however, there's a bizarre little foot fetish in the film. At first I thought it a little "Die Hard" homage, what with the towering building and the pursuit, but when the cult were introduced with a lingering licking of them, and then a large part of the film was Zazie Beetz in vents being followed from behind, and then fight scenes with frequent lingering kicks and pinning/stomping people (her shoes were destroyed, see, and the film makes a point of showing us this), I started to wonder... You do you, man, no shame here, but really? Is it necessary?

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