After "The Beekeeper", which he directed so poe-facedly as to make absolutely hilarious, and amazing nonsensical fun, David Ayer had been on something of a comeback for me (the line on the poster and in the trailers proudly boasting "From the Director of Suicide Squad" is not the flex you think it is, studio), and I adore Statham movies: he's the last of a dying breed in the "Action Movie Star" (well, him and Scott Adkins, who absolutely rules. Watch "Universal Soldier: Day of Reckoning!"). I always know what I'm getting, I know what I'm after, and I know how to separate a good Statham from a bad, even his more experimental fare has its charms: I for one enjoy "Wild Card" as the 70s character piece throwback that it is, "Parker" is actually not too bad an adaptation, and I have nothing but praise for "Hummingbird" and the oddball casting of "Homeland".
This is going to be a ranty one, folks.
You don't see the "keep politics out of my films" crowd talking about this one, funny that...
Action movies, if you want to read into them, and especially the type of 70s macho throwbacks Statham does, are inherently right wing in their scope: a sculpted Adonis growling and snarling their way through (often foreign) bad dudes here to do bad things to our chicks and upholding that ideal of American exceptionalism (odder considering Statham is British and the kings of these, Lundgren and Arnie, are the most Swedish and Austrian men alive, but regardless) in a glorious orgy of violence. Look, I'm oversimplifying it, but if you want to look, it's always there. But I never gave a shit, because the movies are fun, or engaging on their own terms, or they are entertaining and it's never really there or prevalent and only there if you are searching for something.
So noticing it here shows how bored I was.
The movie (written by Stallone, apparently, which... huh) has a bizarre Christian overtone to it all (it's been there in Ayer's previous works, usually in the "urban gangstaness" of it all) from the large looming Christ skull bunker owned by the biker gang leader with a right-hand man named "Demon", to the frequent prayers and the weird side track where the kidnappers (honestly the highights of the movie for me performance-wise: Eve Mauro and Emmet J Scanlon, quite fun characters and performances here!) mock and sneer as their kidnap prays in the car, loudly proudly proclaiming that there is no God.
It's supremely jarring in the greater scheme of things. We have the rather... poorly done trafficking angle to contend with too, oh boy...
So, people traffickers do not spy on, kidnap and pilfer attractive Middle Class good American girls for bespoke buyers in the city, they do it in bulk with poorer migrants, simply lying about jobs in new countries. I know it's a minor thing, seemingly, and nit-picking to gripe with it, but Ayer tries to ground the affair with that usual "gritty flair" which served him (well?) in "The Beekeeper" and was in his other works, rather than leaning into the silliness of the plot as it goes on (Statham ends up doing battle with gold-decked Russian mobsters and charging a barn of sex criminals in the Bayou) so it all feels mean-spirited. Where it could be having fun with it or going for those old-school thrills of a one-man army going for gold, it instead tries to be a gritty gangster thriller with serpentine plots and betrayals and Byzantine double crosses as villains turn on each other, work for other villains and have their own ideas and schemes. It doesn't add depth, because there is none as they are still merely "wacky cartoon villains" who eat babies and enjoy sexual assault. So it just becomes flat and boring.
I'd be fine if there was a sense of effervesence or energy to the fights, but they are few and far between. So okay, maybe it's being a fun detective thriller in the interim? Also no. This convoluted plot continues to go nowhere in two places: a pair of bent cops arrive (not to be confused with the one good cop whom Statham calls for one scene and advice) and help in a kidnapping, ooh boy! Villains and a new threat for us! Only Statham never meets them and they get killed off by a crazy Russian who brings a gold plated tripod machine gun to nightclubs: for you see, killing police? That is a bad thing, even if they are bent (but one feels bad about it, so you know: all good) and thus out "morally grimy world" can't have its waterboarding hero murder police! Because that would be bad!
Oh yeah, the waterboarding.
Between this and "Expendables" (and one of the "Rambo" movies if I remember correctly) I'm starting to think Stallone has a fetish for it. There's lots of effort put into framing it and shooting it, and whilst Ayer adds a sickly green lighting over it, it's still framed as working, as great to do, as something this guy deserves, and also pretty cool. It's just another thing supremely jarringly added onto this rollercoaster with the grace of granite anal beads attached to a motorbike.
The movie has a worshipful, almost beatific belief in the supremacy of the military: not as they are, but this ideal it holds aloft. Again, a classic piece of fare for this work, but taken to extremes: the only people Statham is ever shown being nice to are David Harbour's blind woodsman (who loves the military, though he lost his eyes due to it, unqeustioningly) who supplies him with shedloads of weapons for his murders, and the Christian meth dealer biker when he finds out he was a soldier, so in between the mass murders, Statham manages to place a knife into his throat in a fight more one-sided than the finale of a Seagal flick, and pensively closes his eyes with his hands as a show of respect.
Again, its odd to see it come to the forefront after the rest of the picture, like the one-liners of Jenny when she is kidnapped. I am left bored by the fight scenes, and comotose by the detective work. Even the sillier moments are C-list at best, especially for the genre.
If you're a Statham fan, you're better off with "The Beekeeper" or "Hummingbird" and even "Wild Card". If you're into the mystery or the plot, look elsewhere.
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