Oh who fucking cares?!
You're here either as a fan, or for some carnage and bloodshed because you've heard that these movies are fun.
This gives us everything we want in spades.
If you're a fan, this is more akin to the first: there is a lot more build up to the chaos, and extended action set pieces which evolve and escalate over the course of their body count, without relying too heavily on in jokes and repetition like Chapter 2, but still manages to do something different: we are introduced to other characters in the periphery of John Wick, watching their lives and machinations in this world, and how this spectre of mayhem will change them for the worse... Hiroyuki Sanada and Rina Sawayama (continuing this series' tradition of batshit mental casting decisions which make total sense) make a wonderful impact as Joji and Akira, the Manager and Concierge of the Continental in Osaka, whilst Donnie Yen's blind assassin "Caine" is set to become a fan favourite. It remembers to have fun with it, to have this world be creative and wild, and is genuinely fucking hilarious as a result if you get on board with it. A character has to deliver some exposition, so for absolutely no reason thay have him be an elderly, heavily-pierced tattooed German man whose only lines are "I AM KLAUS". It's that, combined with excellent attention to detail, like the Yokai masks on the Osaka kill-squad or the hand on "The Harbinger"... It comes together to reward new and old viewers alike: the former get kicks out of the world building, whilst the latter get some eccentric, memorable characters and moments.
But let's not forget what we're here for.
Tactical doorbell murder.
Rina Sawayama wears all-leather and a kimono and brings a bow and arrow to a gunfight (I'm glad she got a fair bit to do!)
Hiroyuki Sanada has a katana duel with armoured machine-gun wielding hit squads.
Scott Adkins plays a fat asthmatic card cheat who has a kung-fu battle in his waterfall casino, aided by Germans armed solely with hatchets.
The Arc de Triumph plays host to a 3-time driveby and a 10 minute game of whack-a-mole with cars which ALWAYS made me wince.
Bill Skarsgard wears a glittering suit and sports an atrociously camp French accent (being the best villain in the series for a while, and certainly tied for 1st place). He fits in right as rain here.
Clancy Brown, whom I am surprised it has taken so long to have in this series, plays a man called "The Harbinger", which is the most Clancy Brown name, character, and job title he has ever had.
A man wields a dog.
There is a SPECTACULAR overhead firefight (which for me is the highlight of the film, and my favourite centrepiece.)
John Wick is thrown through multiple cabinets of weapons, including guns, and skips all of them to go for the nunchuks.
Immediately after grabbing nunchucks, we cut to Donnie Yen dressed as Bruce Lee.
Laurence Fishbourne is back in his finest role as "The Bowery King" and chews enough scenery to almost catch up to Scott Adkins.
We get to see Keanu Reeves fight Donnie Yen.
We get to see Scott Adkins fight Donnie Yen.
We get to see Keanue Reeves AND Donnie Yen in movies.
Looney Tunes stairs.
I had the stupidest, widest grin on my face for this entire movie, and it was absolutely exhausting to watch. It felt like I'd only watched half an hour, but was a continent-sprawling epic, which brings action movies higher and higher in terms of quality, still finding way to keep it fresh and FUCKING ESCALATE with every installment.
It earns its "Warriors" extended throwback (even if they missed an opportunity by having neither Charlie come back, or casting James Remar...) and humiliates other lesser action films by just showing us how it's fucking done.
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