Read along: Seven Ancient Wonders - Part 9

This is the last chapter before the two groups finally clash, in the loosest sense of the word, and also another trap-tacular adventure, which also introduces us to one of the most obnoxious parts of the novel. No prizes for guessing that it's something to do with the little girl. Finally, Wizard's inventions make their appearance yet again, and it's easily the stupidest one in the novel, and I am counting the metal arm in the battle for that title.

The Slipway and Second Gate

The tight vertical passage from the spike-hole rose for about 50 feet before opening onto a long tunnel that sloped upward at a steep angle, boring into the heart of the mountain.
There is a map/diagram here, so take a shot. That previous sentence was pretty homoerotic, so I am going to count that as number 12, and ease you back into this blog gently with a picture:

It is with great joy that I say this was one of the first things in Google.

West fired a new amber flare up into the tunnel.
It's tenuous, but I'll count that as number 13. A new amber flare? Where did the first one come from? It was glowsticks previously.
It was the ancient slipway.
Errm, great?
About the width of a car, the slipway was effectively a long straight stairway flanked by two flat stone trackways that abutted the walls of the tunnel. These trackways had once acted like primitive railway tracks: the ancient miners had slid giant containers filled with waste up and down them, aided by the hundreds of stone steps that lay in between them.
"Fuzz," West said, peering up at the tunnel "Distance?"
Now you can't even be bothered to call him Fuzzy? I'm disliking West more and more as this story goes along.
Fuzzy aimed a PAC-40 laser rangefinder up into the darkness.
As he did so, West keyed his radio, "Noddy, report."
More technology porn! Where is Fuzzy carrying all of this? We know he's hacking into the enemy transmissions, which takes some serious gear, and he is carrying a gun and a laser rangefinder (Note, I couldn't find any such thing as a PAC-40 rangefinder, but I did find a PAK-40 howitzer, which is obviously not the same thing) which is no small piece of gear, and he presumably is carrying all sorts of other technical things (including some gadgets and the like we see later), as their "Tech Guy", so is he just their pack mule?

"The Americans aren't here yet, Huntsman," Noddy's voice replied, "but they're closing fast. Satellite image puts their advance choppers 50 klicks out. Hurry."
I'm glad Noddy's voice can reply. I was wondering if he was a deaf mute. I have a question:
Why do you have a satellite pointed here?
Actually, make that two questions:
Why do you have a satellite pointed here? And who owns it? This team of underdogs are sounding more and more powerful by the second?
It was nice to have Noddy be given lines, no matter how many questions they raise.
"Doing the best we can," West said.
Are you, though?
Wizard interrupted: "Don't forget to tell Noddy that we'll be out of radio contact for the time the Warblers are initiated."
"You hear that?"
"I heard. Noddy, out."
To Noddy Out sounds like the world's weirdest dance move.
Fuzzy's rangefinder beeped. "I got empty space for... 150 metres."
West grimaced. "Why do I get the feeling it isn't empty at all?"
Because it's not.
There, done. Can we go home now? West is now cleverer than the book, and becoming self aware. This is not as good as it sounds.
He was right.

Brilliance. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance.
There was a paragraph break there, and that line was on the next page for good measure. You could end the book there. In fact, we shall, let's leave, go on.
Go.
I'm serious.
There are lots of great things to see in this life, and you've now read the entirety of "Seven Ancient Wonders", which is not one of them.
Go forth and read a good book.