Read-along: Seven Ancient Wonders - Part 18

There's a diagram, so take a shot. It also looks like it was drawn on a computer with clip-art and photo-shop, as opposed to actually sketched. Make of that what you will.

The Innermost Cave
That sounds like a horrible euphemism for lady parts, as well as a man's rectal cavern, so I'm counting that as:
Gay Porn Count: 28
And still the traps didn't stop.
Oh, goody. I was starting to think that you'd leave us hanging there, Matthew, what with all of the safety and respite we've had so far... Take a shot.
A wide low-ceilinged chamber met them: its ceiling was maybe two metres off the floor... and getting lower.
How does this mechanism work?  Is it like "Mouse Trap", whereby the ceilings are connected to different mechanisms and these are, in turn, connected to the "Master Snare" we have already encountered? Is the entire ceiling of the chamber like this? I don't think it is, so if so, why not? These things are, thankfully, never explained. But we do learn Lily's favourite book and what kind of guns the henchmen have.
The chamber was about thirty metres wide and its entire ceiling was lowering!
REPETITION!
Take a shot. If there was a prize for superfluous prose of a pathetic kind, permanently present in epidemic proportions whilst purporting to be a poetic piece of perfection from the proactive pen of a prolific pastor of pulp, then Reilly would at the very least be in the running.
The prick.
It must have been one single piece of stone and right now it was descending on the chamber like a giant hydraulic press.
If they'd had time to browse,
What is this, a tourist attraction? You're in the bowels of an ancient temple seeking a giant head, not Alcatraz. "Browse" is a weird choice of word.
West and Lily would have seen that the chamber's walls were covered with images of the Great Pyramid - most of them depicting the famous pyramid being pierced by a ray of light shooting down from the sun.
Illuminati confirmed.
I wish I was joking.

I love her.

Do we really need the detail of the walls being emphasises so much? I know it's a throwaway line, but there was no need for him to use italics there. I do, however, like how he refers to the Great Pyramid (one of the most famous pieces of construction in the world and the only ancient wonder remaining) as the "famous" pyramid.
As opposed to the non-famous ones, I suppose? Mayan or Incan, perhaps...
But it was what lay beyond the entry chamber that seized West and Lily's attention.
He's reused "seized" again here. It's a little more appropriate than last time, but it looks like he's fired his cylinders too early in the synonym department.
That is also my band name: Synonym Department. Or maybe "Department of Synonyms", so that we could go under the shortened "DOS". Our music would be bluegrass electronica rave gangsta-rap.
Oh, yes, Matthew Reilly was describing something important. I'm sorry.
At the far end of the wide entry chamber, in a higher-ceilinged space, stood a giant mud covered head.
Is this going to become Planet of the Apes? Because I could get down with that!
The head was absolutely enormous, at least sixteen feet high, almost three times as tall as West.

The culprit.

He's at least given us West's height, in a roundabout way, which I suppose I should thank him for. Any bets on what it will be?
1. The set decoration of "Return to the Planet of the Apes"
2. The Colossus of Rhodes.
3. Underrated rap mastermind Bubba Sparxxx

The winner gets to listen to some Bubba Sparxxx. He's awesome.
The loser gets to listen to some Bubba Sparxxx. He's awesome.

Despite the layer of mud all over it, its features were stunning: the handsome Greek face, the imperious eyes, and the glorious crown fitted above its forehead.
Alright, gay.
It was the head of a colossal bronze statue.
A... COLOSSUS bronze statue, if you will!

The most famous bronze statue in history.
Arnold's statue from "Around the World in 80 Days?"
It was the head of the Colossus of Rhodes.
NOBODY SAW THAT COMING!

Sorry for the shorter update than usual. It's been a while since I picked up this book and I feel it better to ease myself back into it rather than dive into idiocy.
Dive into idiocy is also the first album from "Department of Synonyms."

Update

Dear reader (for there is only one)

I am sorry for the lack of updates recently regarding "Seven Ancient Wonders", though I am only sorry that you do not share my pain. I have been very busy at work, due to it being the Summer holidays, and thus have been unable to share the horrors of Riley.

I have found somebody worse.

He will appear at some point in the future, me having found his books in a charity shop and picking them up on a whim, being somehow drawn to them, like a dark magnet of ineptitude...
The one I picked up is part 5 (FIVE!) in a series of 12 (TWELVE!) novels thus far. Whilst Riley will keep his books self contained, with arcs and some sort of semblance of internal logic (that logic being action movie parodies), this man does not. They read like stuff happening because he wants it to, with no real rhyme or reason to it and stars a collaboration of thinly sketched caricatures with more ridiculous names than Riley's, if that were possible, who embark upon  Darren Brown-esque shenanigans, without the grand set-pieces and sheer insanity of Riley's works. They take themselves too seriously too, which is always a bad thing.

I will be busy for a while, so if there are no updates for a while, then you know why.

Again, my apologies.

As compensation, here are hints of what is to come:

1. Marshall Judah, the least ridiculous antagonist in the Jack West series (seriously). I also apologise in advance for the jokes I make.

2. Connections to the Schofield universe.

3. BETRAYAL!

4. A piece of transportation so ridiculous that it defies even Riley's works, transcends stupidity and becomes incredible.

5. BETRAYALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

6. Guantanamo Bay.

7. Jack West's past.

8. Betrayal.